Date:   7/13/2016 6:41:13 AM ( 9 y ago)
Hits:   920
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=2326360

Stortz, I am very sorry that this happened to you and even sorrier that you have such deep doubt about your boyfriend's perception of you. 

Your final question was, "What should I do?"  My question to you is, "What do you think you should do?" 

If it were me as I am, today, I would do several things.  The first thing that I would do would be to contact the police and report a sexual assault.  I would then contact "Victim's Services" for some peer counseling and every available resource that they could provide.  Then, I would find a strong, mature, and recommended counseling therapist who could help guide me through this trauma.

Finally, I would determine who my "friends" are and whom they aren't.  You were on a bus with "friends" that obviously left you somewhere when you were incapable of making a rational decision or fend off any attackers.

As far as the boyfriend goes, I have no use for anyone who would blame a victim of rape or sexual assault for the crime that was committed against them - sexual assault is a criminal act and there has been a very ugly growing trend thanks to social media and video sharing:  victims of any type of assault are being recorded and the videos are being posted, online, as forms of entertainment.  YOU are not responsible for what someone else did to you. 

I've experienced gang-rape, date-rape, and spousal rape, and I can say from personal experience that something within my system of beliefs made be think that I somehow deserved to be abused, and it finally came to to a point where my beliefs had to be changed or else I was just going to give up.  I honestly felt that nobody would have believed me, particularly since the young men involved in the gang-rape were from wealthy and influential families.  I cannot turn back the hands of time and report these monsters for what they are, but I certainly would if I could do so. 

If your boyfriend has compassion, empathy, understanding, and a level of love for you and his fellow man, he will understand that you were assaulted and remain supportive.  If, on the other hand, he finds entertainment in the misery of others, blames women and men for being weak, and doesn't exhibit compassion or empathy, this man may just not be whom you need in your life.  The boyfriend needs to know because a sexual assault changes a person which is why trauma therapy is so very important for victims to get involved with.

If your boyfriend blames you or tries to heap shame upon you for being violated by someone, then you don't need him.  But, give him the opportunity to show you his true colors, and you might find that he will be prepared to support and encourage your recovery and healing processes. 

Visit these websites for more information:

www.rainn.org

www.thehotline.org

Brightest blessings of comfort and courage to you.

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