Date:   11/9/2015 1:34:18 PM ( 9 y ago)
Hits:   1,766
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=2286712

Thanks for the helpful comments. To be honest I don't really care much whether spells work or not. What matters is that she believes it works and after me telling her what I was doing she finally said she never wanted anything to do with me again. If her life is wonderful (good luck with that girl) or dismal it is of no concern to me. Wishing harm on someone out of revenge is not really a useful thing. It's tempting though but I restrain myself.
I think I should seek counseling but I'm not too sure where to go. I guess I'll look around. I have a nice woman interested in me but I have made it clear that I will talk to her but need time to mend. I find that I have female friends (most of which are older and married) who I talk to regularly who are supporting me through what I'm going through, and a new prospective girlfriend is not really that exciting right now.
The other day I really made some major moves to detach from her. I wanted closure and I got it by realizing that there is no way she has changed much at all and there is no hope to even keep her as a friend if I want to be treated like a human being. I blocked (on facebook and phone) every friend of hers. I had a shirt of hers and a teddy bear and I threw them out. I emailed her, yes, because she is a hacker and was hacking into my email so I threatened the police on her as that is illegal and I knew it was her. I also know it was her because after I sent that email the hacking stopped. I know I'll have to deal with some other kind of revenge perhaps, but I'm not scared of her any more and I know I can defend myself. If she does anything illegal I will go to the police and issue a restraining order if necessary.
I actually don't use her name anymore I use CAM all the time. After reading the replies I did a process of forgiveness. I believe very much in that but I sometimes forget to go back and do it all over again. I feel better now. I also prayed as I believe in using higher powers and asked that my heart be healed and mended.
I have been working hard over the last few months to be assertive and say no. I apparently am attractive and get asked out often, and I have turned every woman down because I'm not ready for it and also I noticed red flags unlike years ago. I think that will really help in my future as in a relationship I must also say no and set boundaries.
Just after the way she has treated me recently and the breaking away from her I feel so much pain. I'm really proud of myself though for breaking it off with her for good. She is a tough one to get rid of as she is very persistent as I pointed out before. I think though that it was my choice to allow her into my life each time and that I wasn't willing to let her go completely. I have a lot of people in my life who treat me really well and it has shown me in a way that I don't need to put up with abuse for companionship. There are a lot of messed up people who don't know how to respect other people and it seems as though until about a year ago I didn't really experience much respect, but I won't get into that. I have struggled with a mental disability and have put up with a lot of crap because I wasn't capable of moving or putting myself into a better situation. So in reality CAM is maybe one of the worst ones I've run into recently but not even the worst one I have run into. I think I would really benefit from a group therapy kind of thing.
Also my bad experiences with people has indeed shaped my world view. I struggle to feel optimistic about meeting new people and I spend a lot of time at home. I have been recovering from Depression but I have distanced myself from many places where people are because I have been hurt too much. It just seems everywhere I go people see me as an easy target to push around.
 

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