Date:   11/8/2015 5:43:06 PM ( 9 y ago)
Hits:   1,944
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=2286604

I'm very sorry to read of your experiences.

Archus is 100% spot-on.  Voodoo doesn't work.  Spells don't work.  Wishful thinking doesn't work.  The only thing that works to recover and heal are 3 things: 

*  "No Contact" meaning NO emails, texts, calls, discussions, or speaking with HER family or friends.  From this day forward, she never existed.

*  Patience - allow yourself to feel and process your experiences and then remind yourself that this was a Learning Opportunity so that you can choose a better partner when you are fully confident in yourself and you are calm and balanced enough to know the difference between lust and love

*  Time - I've been out of my second marriage for slightly over 4 years, and I only began to "feel" okay about MYSELFabout a year ago. 

Everyone experiences heartbreak.  Everyone experiences disappointments, loss, grief, misery, and tough times.  I wrote a blog on this site about my own journey of recovery and healing titled, "Coping With Betrayal."  It takes time to recover and heal, and practice to find balance.  Life is not "all-or-nothing," at any given point.  Even when it seems like it's a do-or-die situation, it isn't. 

Take time to separate yourself from all of the drama/trauma.  If you're in serious doubt about yourself, get involved in some counseling with a specialist that deals with emotional abuse.  Take time, each day, to find positive language for yourself and this will soon become a learning experience for you to develop strong boundaries for yourself and for others.

Brightest blessings to you.

EDIT ADD:  Archus mentioned how carrying this baggage around can do more harm imaginable, and it's quite true.  At long last, the medical community is beginning to acknowledge what they've always known to be true about emotional health:  stress kills and trauma causes stress.

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