Date:   3/16/2015 9:36:19 AM ( 9 y ago)
Hits:   2,433
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=2242803

QueenWatermelon, I am sorry that you're in the situation that you are. 

The symbolism in your dream is your subconscious attempting to tell you that you are being predated.  You are living with a human predator.  Whether or not this man is an addict has NOTHING to do with the fact that he is an abuser.  From your description, alone, he presents a complete absence of compassion, empathy, remorse, or pity.  He would be as much of a predator whether he was an addict, or not.  This is a fact, not an opinion.

A man was walking along a shoreline, once, and saw a rattlesnake weaving back and forth at the water's edge.  The snake saw the man and said, "Friend, I need to get to the other side of this lake.  Will you take me across in your boat?"  The man said, "You're a rattlesnake and you're poisonous."  The rattlesnake replied, "I promise I won't bite you if you take me across to the other side in your boat.  I promise."  The man reluctantly agreed and rowed his boat to the other side of the lake.  Before he slithered out of the boat, the rattlesnake bit the man.  The man cried out, "But, you promised you wouldn't bite me!"  The snake cooly responded, "But, this is what I am - why did you expect anything different?"

QueenWatermelon, an abuser is an abuser is an abuser.  Whatever they promise is a lie.  They abuse simply because they can, and it isn't the victim's responsibility to "fix" whatever is broken in the abuser.  Nor does the victim deserve the abuse.  Having typed that, if you remain with this man, then you are willingly accepting the role of "victim" and whatever happens after this point is your responsibility for remaining with him.  An abuser is not going to change into an enlightened, accountable, and compassionate human being - they simply cannot.  In the course of my experiences, I have seen only 2 out of hundreds (yes, that's hundreds) of abusers who actually made tremendous effort to STOP abusing and engage in long-term treatment to facilitate this.  The rest?  Well, they blamed everything from their victims (as per usual) to solar flares (no joke, here).  So...........you cannot wish, will, hope, pray, or demand that a rattlesnake turn into a kitten - it's impossible and will never happen.

Here are some sites that you might find helpful.  And..........you're going to do whatever you choose, but I will say from personal experience that choosing an abuser or being targeted by one is an indication that I needed to do some personal work to build up my own self-esteem, self--worth, and personal boundaries.  I became so desperate for "love" and acceptance that I married 2 very different types of abusers, and they never, ever, EVER "get better." 

www.familyarrested.com

www.thehotline.org

www.rainn.org

www.180rule.com

You may not realize or believe this, QueenWatermelon, but you are very precious in this vast Universe.  You deserve far more than what you're settling for, right now.  There is no shame in spending time without a partner to sort it all out so that you can, in due time, choose healthy partners with total confidence that you can call the shots as you see them.  I would also strongly urge you to consider counseling therapy with a trauma specialist as a very viable option.  Your local domestic violence hotline can provide you with resources that will help you to sort this all out.

Brightest blessings to you

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