Date:   3/5/2015 9:46:58 AM ( 10 y ago)
Hits:   2,810
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=2240747

My gyno has me to do tampone exercises to expand my vagina since my paps are always abnormal they could never do the pap on me. We had a talk and she noticed something happen in the past that causes me to get jittery. Gyno suggested that because I can't afford dialators. She also factor in issues with my heavy periods, the high stress I endure in a toxic living environment contributes to my painful sex.

Sex wasn't safe and nobody made me feel safe that is true I totally agree. I was in therapy for 16 months (worst mistake ever should have left within 6 mos) which I got nothing out of it. I was attending workshops at the women's center which have been very helpful more helpful than seeing that ex-therapist! Again, I am not in an area where I can start a full recovery I would say picking up bits and pieces of recovery but not a full recovery.

The reason why I don't wanna go through a bunch of mental health professionals is because I don't want to supply their paychecks - charity starts with me first! Nothing about me is made out of money. I told my social worker that I feel going through all of this therapy makes me feel like a basket case that I can't solve my own problems is what people have thrown in my face for years been labeled a basket case too. I was honest with my social worker about how I feel.

What I want is to take control of my own body, sex life, etc and not let it control me anymore.

My ex-therapist didn't even guide me she was more concern about my abusive parents' feelings than mine always threw in my face they are your parents, your parents, etc nothing about how I was feeling that's why we argued a lot every time I saw which had to put her in her place because she didn't know crap about abuse as I had to educate her a lot and she really couldn't counter anything I had to say.

It's just that everything is confusing and not sure what to do. I do want to get better, at the time, I am always stuck at a dead end.
 

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