Date:   8/20/2014 2:13:53 PM ( 10 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=2198014

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hey mag.
well, to be totally honest....i have had a horrible few years. i used to be super duper healthy. since my late teens/early 20s up until i was 31 i was always around 205lbs with about 10% body fat(6' tall) really muscular(all my friends accused my of being on steroids but i most def was not)....and i never ate fast food. i used to fast in my early twenties and i was never a big drinker, smoker, or drug used. well i ended up dating my best friend since we were 15, she was the first girl i ever kissed, the only girl i ever thought i was gonna marry blah blah blah...so finally at the age of 29 we gave it a shot dating and for the next 3 years it was the worst and most unhealthy experiences of my life. i wont get into specifics about it but basically i ended up adapting to her unhealthy lifestyle of drinking 4-6 times per week, smoking a bunch of cigs everyday, and then i developed quite a coke habit. so with the course of 2-3 years i basically lost all my hard earned muscle, i put on 40lbs, my sleep schedule was pretty much falling asleep between 3am and 11am and then sleeping until 5pm. i had a great job as an outside salesman but the only problem was the i had no sales quotas, no supervision, and basically i was making 70k a year and did not have to do anything...literally anything. it was just a bad situation all around. we finally broke up after she cheated on my(twice)...so i quit my job, hopped in my car and drove out to the desert on the cali/mexico border and camped out for a few months. i went out there to kick my bad habits but instead found that i was drinking whiskey everyday. i came back home totally disgusted with myself but i could not get out of the rut. i was eating fast food almost everyday, i wasn't exercising, i was spending all my money on drugs and using my credit card for alcohol...but the whole time in the back of my head i was being called to fast again. so finally last week on sunday i did so much drugs that i laid in bed and thought my heart was going to die. actually let me correct that; i laid in the basement of my parents house at 9am waiting for my drug dealer to wake up and waiting for the liquor store to open. finally my dealer texted me back monday morning but my heart felt like it was going to explode. i knew then that i needed to take drastic action. so i decided that my only option was to put myself on lockdown at my parents house, turn my phone off, deactivate my Facebook, and get back to the life that i led for so many years which was one of focusing on my health and well being as opposed to keeping up with this perpetuation of the pity party that i was in for the last year after this girl literally ripped my heart out. so here i am on day 9... feel great..i have zero cravings for anything bad except when i watch these stupid cooking shows on tv i crave food but other than that my only cravings are for mangos and pineapples, and hot healthy soups(basically all the foods that i have eaten since my late teens except when i was dating that girl).
wow, so yeah i bet you weren't expecting that...lol...sorry to get so detailed but that is the honest truth.
 

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