Date:   11/14/2013 6:19:03 AM ( 12 y ago)
Hits:   4,243
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=2124048

I am so sorry that you had these experiences of betrayal and abuse, and I understand your confusion about the whole situation.

To answer your initial question of whether you were raped, or not, I'll give you two answers that may help. Yes, you were raped on a moral and ethical level in the form of sexua| abuse, absolutely. Legally, it depends entirely upon what the Laws are where this occurred. In some areas, this would not be legally defined as "rape."

I very, VERY much wish that there were more grey areas in the Law, but there typically isn't. Often, what SHOULD be, isn't, and what SHOULDN'T be, is. This is just how the Law works (or, not). A defense attorney will blame you for "allowing" the affair to begin and continue, regardless of drugs being administered BY the defendant - very horrible to understand this, but it's a true and common defense tactic called, "Victim Blame." It happens all of the time, unfortunately, and it RE-traumatizes the victim, over and over.

Having typed the above, you were betrayed on every level - emotionally, physically, sexually, and financially, and I would strongly and gently suggest that you contact the website that Blue Rose always recommends: http://www.rainn.org.
I will also strongly and gently suggest that you engage in some strong counseling therapy, immediately, to process this intentional and deliberate abuse.

Speak to the people at RAINN to determine what legal course of action would be most appropriate, but seriously consider engaging in counseling therapy, as soon as possible. In counseling, your therapist will help you to sort this all out and you'll be able to make an informed and strong decision on any course of criminal or civil action that would be an option.

Is your significant other aware of what happened? At some point, they will need to know in order to help process their own feelings of betrayal and conclude that you were coerced and manipulated by a human predator. The man who did this to you is, by definition, a predator. So, please, be kind to yourself and understand that you were targeted by him to be used, abused, and discarded.

Here are some sites that you may want to check out:
http://www.familyarrested.com

http://www.180rule.com

http://www.rainn.org

http://www.thehotline.org


The definition of rape is an event that is perpetrated without consent or knowledge. This is a difficult situation to process, and I've experienced similar episodes, myself. While I took no action, I kept those experiences to myself and never spoke of them to anyone until I became engaged in strong counseling therapy. This was a huge mistake, on my part, and the experiences tainted my self-esteem and self-worth for my entire lifetime, simply because I was ashamed and afraid of taking action.

I wish you the most brightest and sincere healing blessings to get through this terrible situation. Once you are involved in counseling, you'll be able to process these experiences and not allow this one human predator to define who you are.
 

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