Date:   9/25/2013 6:16:38 PM ( 11 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=2108395

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"Did your parents also have stories of abuse in their own lives as well? I know it would have done you well to have talked together and forgave each other at that moment, but it's good that you have found peace anyway. Pain is hard on the body...much like cancer."

Each of my parents were born in the 19th Century which is a world that is very different than what exists today.

My father was from the deep south and he rarely talked about abuse but I know that it was significant in the form of punishment.  He was probably sexually abused by older brothers too.  He was the only boy of four to marry though his two sisters married too.

My mother was not particularly abused as a child though from her sister I know that her mother was mean to all of her children while my mother (the oldest) was growing up in the Dakotas and Montana.  My mother was forty when I was born and I was told outright when I was seven that I was an unwanted child.  It has been much more difficult for me to forgive her because early on I had a love hate relationship with her.

As a part of my adult healing process I have become aware that I was not a "good" kid and that I too had a significant role in how my parent related to me in my childhood.  There is nothing in this world that is black and white because there are always differing shades of gray.  It's part of the learning process.

Forgiveness is part of the Lord's Prayer.  I try to practice that and I'm far from perfect.

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