Date:   5/18/2013 1:08:14 PM ( 11 y ago)
Hits:   3,516
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=2066608

Can anyone help me?

My husband Josh was a virgin when we met, and has never been with anyone but me sexually. I wasn't much more experienced, but I had had sex with one other guy before I met Josh. The other guy, Michael, is still a friend of mine. We are connected on Facebook and chat occasionally, though not often. We don't live nearby anymore so we don't see each other.

Anyway, I haven't thought about Michael much since I met Josh, but the other day Michael started an IM session with me, and I participated. It wasn't flirty in any way; just two friends chatting. Last night, I had a dream that I had sex with Michael. Afterward (in the dream) I realized that I had just cheated on Josh, and I was devastated. Thankfully it was all just a dream, but even after I woke up I was pretty upset just to have dreamt that.

I love Josh dearly, and I'd rather kill myself than ever hurt him in any way. He is the best thing that ever happened to me and a better fit for my life than Michael (who is also married now and loves his wife). But in all honesty there is a part of me that still loves Michael, and I've thought at times that if I had the opportunity to have sex with Michael again, it would be very hard to resist. Sex with Michael was very good, although perhaps a big part of it was sentimentality since he was my first.

Anyway, I'm still feeling a bit shaken by having had such a dream. I would never, ever want to cheat on Josh. But I'm disturbed by the thought that there is something in me that would, or at least would be tempted. Honestly I do still have some feelings for Michael, although I also have feelings (and commitment) for Josh.

Is this normal? What should I do about this? Thankfully it's easy to avoid seeing Michael but should I try to have less contact with him? I still value his friendship and I always will.
 

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