Re: "Difficult" child? by #68716 ..... Parenting Support Forum
Date: 4/17/2013 5:31:48 AM ( 11 y ago)
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URL: https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=2056166
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This, I understand your outrage with the subject matter, but there are, indeed, children born into this world that make horrible decisions regardless of whether "bad parenting" exists, or not. I also get the sense that you are very angry with your own parents and that you do not have children of your own, yet.
Bringing a child into the world is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a simple commitment. Raising a child is a 24/7 job that can result in beautiful and amazing experiences, or absolute frustration. And, there's no way of knowing how the dice are going to roll. What we are seeing, today, is that children are viewed as "accessories" rather than vessels for human souls, and there is a greater level of dysfunction as each generation ramps up the apathy.
All infants are born with different personalities, even when they share the same DNA. But, as the infant develops, bonds are created between the parents and the child. Sometimes, children CANNOT bond because they are NOT capable of experiencing empathy, remorse, or conscience. Without these core abilities, there does not exist (and, never will) emotional "feelings," including love.
And, yes - strong, consistent "parenting" can result in a child who is high in sociopathic traits to develop appropriate behaviors, even though these children are absolutely incapable of connecting, emotionally. However, the odds that a parent is going to quickly identify this condition, accept that their child does not experience emotions, and adjust their "parenting" techniques appropriately are VERY slim.
It may be a good idea to consider learning more about sociopathy as a CONDITION so that the information can validate this cold, hard, fact: nothing that a parent, guardian, partner, coworker, spiritual leader, physician, psychiatrist, counseling therapist, surgeon, or shaman can do is going to create a conscience, empathy, or remorse in a human being where conscience, empathy, and remorse do NOT exist - EVER.
It may also be a good idea to consider some strong counseling to manage the anger that you have with regard to your own parents and their failures. This suggestion is meant with kind intention and NOT to be interpreted as a personal slight - harboring intense anger towards anyone can result in some serious personal issues. Anger is "normal" and "allowed" a long as it doesn't interfere with our ability to function and is expressed in a healthy manner. Nobody that I have ever met has had a perfect childhood. Most people that I have met in my lifetime were raised in dysfunctional dynamics and the dysfunction creates a host of damaging core issues and faulty beliefs which is why the cycles of dysfunction continue from one generation to another.
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