Date:   10/23/2012 3:51:54 AM ( 12 y ago)
Hits:   2,608
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1999131

Hi. My name is Angela Johnson and I am 21 years old. I found no other place to go and share my problem so i came here. Though I know this thread doesnt fit dating and is more of a spiritually themed post, i request to PLEASE answer my post keeping spirituality/past life and soul mates in mind.
PLEASE answer me, i NEED HELP


In 2003 i was 12 years old and while i was asleep i heard a voice the voice of some people addressing something very significant about him.I might have seen him very faintly but i didn't see his face or anything. This significant thing actually happened in 2004 but i heard in 2003.

I did not hear of him again till 2008 nor i knew who he was but i did remember what the voices said about him all throughout the years.
In 2008 31st March i saw him coming down the rampway and i immediately recognized him as the person whom i heard about about. And then the people at his workplace said the same significant accomplishment i heard several years ago.

I was immediately attracted to him but i was just a admiration because of the way he looked and his talents because he is 11 years older to me. I was 16 that time and he was 27.
I felt a very strong bond with him since day one. I could relate a lot to him. I don't know why but i felt very close to him as if i already knew him. I felt we must have been siblings in the past life but I did not pay much attention to him because i thought he was way too old to be even thought about.

I only admired him for what he presented himself as.This wen on till 2009 till my feelings were just admiration.
I had a lot of expectations from him and he stood on them which made me admire him more. I was awaiting the results of my final exams (May 2009) and i still remember fondly that i had put up his picture on my computer as my lucky charm and i did come out with flying colors. And he was excelling in his job.

But in early 2010 (Jan- Mid March) i totally forgot about him since i got new boyfriend. But in just 2 months again something happened my boyfriend broke up with me and then in April i suddenly began developing feelings for this man.
Whenever i would close my eyes i would see his face his actions which bothered me a lot. I constantly told myself what is he doing in my mind but those feelings refused to go. I constantly battled against my feelings but failed..

So it continued until a strange thing happened on 4th January 2011. I had my pre board exams and i read a few of my messages of my ex bf which made me upset i thought he was better than this man younger not attached. I compared him and felt bad.
Moments later when i tried to think about his man he refused to show up. I tried so hard to remember his face but no avail. I spent two days in misery feeling extremely upset as if someone had died not even even looking at his photos helped.
Finally i prayed to him sincerely to forgive me for comparing him with my jerk of an ex and to please come back. Slowly i could see him but very faintly. The next day i felt a lot better and when i went for a shower jet black water came out of my hair as if i had not washed it for years! though i shampoo each day! And after that he was back in my head and i was cheerful again

My affections grew and 4th May 2011 again i had a vision while i was asleep in which i saw him celebrating with a blond. I checked and found out that He had received a huge boost from his company on 3rd May and was involved with a blond at his work.

He was sporting a beard and i loved him in that look but all of a sudden he shaved it off. When i saw him shaved i was upset and secretly hoped that he grows it again and he did grow it again.

In November 2011 my mom got this box from the market which had his full name imprinted on it. I was shocked I couldn't believe it. His full name and initials on it! I still have the box and it still amazes me. His name is uncommon nobody knows him but how it was imprinted on the box is a mystery.

In December 2011 he took a break from work but i had a dream in which i saw some articles stating sidelined from the company's biggest bash and the earliest reports about his break was exactly what i dreamt about.

In March 12 i had a strange sensation. I was asleep but i felt as if someone was having sexua| intercourse with me. I felt that sensation of having a deep penetration twice and then i woke up with the fear that i might get pregnant. I knew i wouldn't get pregnant but i was scared .He stopped but i felt the sensation of the penetration inside me throughout the day

I dearly wanted he attended all of his parties of the bash alone. I saw him in suits with the beard and he made my day.
But once again in April i had this vision of him on top of me having sex with me. He had his clothes on but again i felt the soreness throughout the day.
Same thing happened in July.

I am very torn. I dont now what to do, where to go. I cannot replace my feelings for him because it doesnt go away. How can I get over someone when hes always with me?
Whats happening to me?
 

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