Co-dependency & rescuing others. by Teacher of Light ..... Codependency & Addictive Relationships & Love Addiction
Date: 6/4/2012 4:42:06 PM ( 12 y ago)
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URL: https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1947099
This Awareness suggests that there is an important associated topic which this Awareness wishes to address at this time. It is what may
be termed a kind of philosophical "fad" that is going around, which began with concepts that were themselves relatively valid, which came out of the philosophical therapy concepts for dealing with drug and alcohol abuse, namely the concepts of co-dependency and the idea of rescuing others.
This Awareness indicates that in the alcohol abuse programs and drug
programs, and even in family counseling programs, these concepts of co-
dependency and the concept of rescuing each other as that which recently
has become buzzwords for entities to toss around and to use
indiscriminately as excuses to avoid doing anything for anyone else.
They may say, "Do it yourself, don't be co-dependent." Or they may say,
"I'm not cooperating with you. I don't want to be a co-dependent; I'm
looking out for myself." These are not the words used, but these are the
ways they portray these words in action, and you will see entities that
refuse to do anything for others, because they want others to do it for
themselves, and they will try to avoid any kind of cooperative action,
calling it "co-dependency."
This Awareness indicates that likewise, the term "rescuing" is commonly
used in the counseling for drug abuse or alcohol abuse, where an entity
is seen to rescue the drug partner by helping them get up and get to
work when they are too drunk to do so, or too hungover to do so, or by
calling the boss and making excuses that the entity is sick today, or
doing other things, such as taking all the beer bottles down and turning
them in, cleaning up the mess left by the drunk one, or otherwise
picking up after the entity because of the problems caused, or making
excuses for the entity to the entity's friends -- all of this action is
classed as "rescuing," as well as "enabling." You enable the person to
continue this action by continuing to rescue the entity when he fails in
his duties as a person, a worker, a husband or as an associate because
of the alcohol or drug abuse.
This Awareness indicates that these terms have legitimate need, but
there has been a tendency in many situations whereby the concept of
rescuing has been used to criticize others who are in need of help,
simply because the entity doesn't want to help or doesn't want to see
them get help.
This Awareness indicates an example would be for the mother of one child
who is larger than the other child who belongs to a different mother, to
argue with the other mother that she should not keep rescuing her child
from the larger child, just because they get into a fight, because it
teaches the younger child, the smaller child, to become "victim-
conscious." That is the other buzz-word that is going around in these
groups. This is very common among New Age groups today.
"Victim-consciousness" is supposed to mean that the entity energizes
being the victim; these entities do not want to see children being
energized as victims, and they are very critical of those children who
play the role of victims. It does not matter that their child is larger
and is what in may be called a bully; they simply see the fault being
with the young child, the small child, who has a problem of victim-
consciousness.
This Awareness indicates that they criticize anyone who seeks to rescue
the young child as being a "rescuer" and "enabler" as it enables the
child to continue being victimized. Hopefully, entities can see already
how this distortion of terms can lead to immense problems for many
children who are having to suffer under this philosophy that is going
around in certain circles.
This Awareness indicates that the victim-consciousness and the rescuer
are now the villains in these New Age circles or societies, and those
who bully, and those who are uncooperative see themselves as independent
and expressive of their own feelings, they see this as strength, and if
they are uncooperative, that term is out of bounds. They say they are no
longer co-dependent. "Don't depend on me and I won't depend on you," and
they use those terms in order to avoid helping others, except when the
time comes when they need help. Then they may ask for help, and they go
back to the other language and may seek your help and your cooperation,
but when it comes time for you to ask for them to help, they say, "No,
no. You've got to learn to do this for yourself. You cannot be
codependent on me."
This Awareness indicates there are parents who refuse to carry things
for their children, because they want the child to learn to do it for
themselves, yet the child may be overloaded with coats, bags, lunch,
books, things of this nature coming out from the school barely able to
carry these things to the car, while the parent walks out empty-handed.
And the parents are proud of themselves for making the child more
independent. What is this doing to the child's mind? It is teaching the
child, "Don't expect help. Don't give help to others. Be independent.
Take care of yourself. Don't take care of anyone else." This is the
lesson these entities are teaching. "Don't expect Mom or Dad to help you
if you have a problem." What is this message to mean, when the child is
in a serious problem, and needs Mom or Dad? It simply means the child
will look elsewhere, perhaps to someone of his or her own peer group,
who does not have proper experience in dealing with the problem of the
child, or who has ulterior motives and misguides the child.
This Awareness indicates that in order for entities to sort out when
rescuing is proper and when it simply enables one to remain weak,
entities need to look more at the situation than at the slogans.
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