Date:   5/19/2012 8:15:32 AM ( 12 y ago)
Hits:   4,491
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1941588

While I appreciate your hating to see people suffering and attempt to help very much, unfortunately, your whole post made me feel dirty and guilty and shaking my head

I definitely identify with Job. what I have listed here is just a tiny fraction of the suffering I have endured in life. Even crisis counselors tell me on hearing some of the things I have gone through say how strong I am and how much I have gone through, people I know tell me I am so unlucky and cant catch a break. Some are burned out from my stressful life and some even say they are afraid to be around me as maybe some of my bad luck will rub off. They say do you think God is mad at you and naturally I am at a loss for why my life has been so hard and it is one thing after another and serious things.

Job though if you remember had not done anything wrong when God allowed intense suffering in his life.

My life has been divided into normal life with regular problem the first half and horrible life with many serious problems last half.

I am slightly older than you and I too have never met anyone personally who had to go through as much as I have though I am just talking about people I know not all those world wide as many suffered in life far more than me. I am sure just none I know of personally.

I have thought for a long time I had a curse put on me when I had an encounter with an evil man ranting about his hatred for a family who had just all burned in a fire next to us and that I felt had radiated evil and later finding out he hated me..that is when things started going bad.

Also my mother said some gypsy once put a curse of our whole family and not one of us has not had some simply horrible things happen to us.

As a Christian, I do not believe in past lives as the bible says "it is appointed to men once to die and after this (comes) the judgment" and I believe the bible tremendously.

Although there may have been some exceptions of reincarnations like Elijah generally I don't think we lived a bunch of past lives.

We have grown so used to thinking of/hearing about karma that most of us do not even question it as a concept, but these beliefs stem from eastern tradition which is very different than my beliefs.

While sometimes it seems we do get our karma, it seems, often people escape at least in this life and since I would not think the universe would play favorites, this seems to indicate this is not the cause of our suffering.

Some people like in the true stories of survivors of the Khmer rouge holocaust suffered the most horrible torments imaginable many losing their entire families.

My own Cambodian refugee neighbors lost 5 of their 10 children. So many witnessed unbelievable animosities and it seems like you are saying they deserved it as they might have done something bad and horrible in a past life perhaps killing a bunch of people and now they must witness the killings of their own most dear. I don't believe that.. (Hebrews 9:2)these people were victims of the actions of others who chose to do this in my opinion and not paying for past life sins.

Maybe I am wrong as noone knows but this is my belief as much suffering comes to us as a result f natural laws and the free will actions of another.

Just as I was the victim of 23 people who not paying attention, speeding or what not hit me car as only 2 of the 25 wrecks were my fault. The human body is not designed to take 55 mph hits to the body and the realty is with back problems and/or arthritis, the body in trying to stabilize one's spine, grows bones spurs but the added bone width of these spurs narrows the disc area and foramen sections of the spine, where nerve/s must pass through and they get pinched and pinched nerves can feel like this.

God does not violate our free will nor does he suspend natural laws like gravity and the damage that comes from (wrecks)traveling in ways not originally created for us to get from place to place might do to us.

That is why I am suffered back pain enough to make me scream from nerve pain which nerves can be the most painful injuries to the human body. It is not from (IMO) past life karma or previous traumatic death or even putting the wrong thing in my subconscious (though there is a possibility of anything I suppose) but rather the consequence of what natural law brings about when someone is hit many times at high and unnatural rates of speed and from bone spurs etc narrowing that space where the nerves are and pinching them.

I do have considerable sin in my life having lived 6 decades but I also have also done much good, In fact,. hundreds and hundreds of people have told me I am so kind, nice, sweet, and have a heart of gold and I have helped thousands of people in my life often at considerable cost to myself.

Why would I be asked to pay karma or rather I think you said chose it for past lives that there is no proof exist when people I have known who did simple atrocious things to others live the high life with few problems.

My Cambodian refugee neighbors were exceptionally sweet people, did they deserve to have all that suffering or cause it from harm to others in some allegedly past life or accident that they still are feeling.

It does not seem to work that way..at least in this life, some people seem to get their karma when we know they did bad stuff in past and others seem to get off scott free at least till the next life/judgment.

The thing is I have had an extraordinary amount of bad events happens but God has helped me through so many often in amazing ways. My life seems to be one of intensity..a huge number of strengths and a huge number of weaknesses utter lonesomeness and yet contact with thousands.Bad things followed by answers..who can understand it how to live through such a life. I was once told it is like I am living 15 lives at once.

I can guarantee you I cannot afford it when if a get a flat tire, trying to buy a 30 dollar used one is like a calamity as I have next to nothing after bills. I have not bought clothes or shoes in 15 years I bet. I struggle and I have none to help me as I have had rejection and apathy from those who should technically care (family). I would never use any money for that (past life regression etc) when I might need it for some big crisis like I had recently with my car. when you are living on that low an income things like you suggested are out of the question even if I knew it would help. I just don't have the money or anyone who would give it to me.

I must mention I am no longer screaming with pain though I have pain still and parasthesia remains..they say for life but I am not so sure I believe that. I found out some things that I think helped and did them and someone on here offered to help me free and I will post more on that later as I evaluate what has happened and if they is relapse.

I do think some things might be going on I have been feeling very negative having suffered from severe clinical depression, anxiety and having next to no sleep in 35 years due to 3 sleep disorders. But I think maybe the law of attraction may be in force bringing  bad luck to my in a quantum physics kind of way of bad attracting bad.

But I recently learned from this member on here who helped me that one must first clear the negative before the positive can be put into subconscious and body.

I do think maybe my subconscious is involved in this suffering. I do not think it is stemming from childhood as I had a happy childhood but this one thing did happen to me but I don't have many details and there was something else I may have perceived incorrectly that got stuck in subconscious but since my problems did not start so badly till my 30s I doubt it is that or I would have had bad all along and I did not,..I lived a regular life with some good and some bad but nothing like the daily problems I live through the last 3 decades.

I am trying to use EFT tapping to see if that helps me reprogram the subconscious.

I do think the mind is very powerful but I feel many of the bad things that happened to me came as a result of other people decisions and free will (for instance-rapes, stalking, rejection, and so forth) or as a natural consequence of unwritten laws of the universe...25 wrecks weakens greatly the back and my chiropractor explained even at the same impact, if one car has cartons off eggs as a fragile cargo and another has steel balls as its cargo, the one with the fragile cargo gets hurt worst and my previously injured body was that fragile cargo...even small wrecks hurt me more as an previously injured person than it would a never injured person and natural law took its toll as the body was not meant to endure these impacts of car accidents even milder ones.

There are some plausible explanations for the things I suffer but the rate I suffer them is the thing that draws attention..the bad seems never ending.

I have on other sites when posting just part of what I suffered been accused of lying or having a made up soap opera life and told noone goes through all that and yet I have sadly.

My mom had a kind of similar life in some ways and her mom before her so maybe it was that was the gypsy "curse" who knows.

I think maybe if I could figure out how to reprogram the subconscious but we don't even know what's in there and even if I could afford a hypnotist not sure I could be put under, I once  went to an entertainment show and there were like 15 of us onstage and I was the only one unable to be hypnotized but maybe a professional could?

I must recall what Jesus said in John 9:2-3

His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"

"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.


They believed similar to you in reincarnation/karma as they believed in the doctrine of transmigration. The Hindus still hold it and profess to tell precisely the sin which the person committed in another body, by the afflictions which he endures in this: they profess also to tell the cures for these. For instance, they say the headache is a punishment for having, in a former state, spoken irreverently to father or mother etc

That what we did in that life affects this one....but who says this is true noone knows for sure what religious belief is true and noone can prove or disprove these things they are just theories or beliefs and maybe if past life regression does work though some day it is bogus maybe this has some type of placebo effect who knows

I chose to believe the bible that says we live and die once though maybe the bible is lies who knows or Jesus who said our sufferings are not from things we did or deserve but rather so God can show his power in making good come from bad.

When you live through it though it going bad for so many decades, it is hard to see good coming from bad but I often find looking back years later things make more sense but sometimes it never makes sense. People have grappled with suffering forever.

The bottom line is your post made me seem and feel guilty and I had a great childhood for the most part and don't believe in past lives and though I sinned a lot in this life, I also did so much good too and feel if it is karma from this life at least that it is more than I would have deserved/expected to have for my transgressions. I feel on those rare times I feel god talking to me that he sees the good I have done and is not mad at me.

A born again believer would not feel God would come to offer a free salvation and then make us pay for it with suffering day after suffering day so I cant believe really that this is some kind of deserved punishment as that would nullify what Jesus did at Calvary.

If we had to suffer to work off our debt why the heck do we need a savior. In fact for me to believe these eastern religious and philosophical believes would nullify my deepest convictions of a doctrine of grace.

I think suffering is not necessarily the will of God but lies in the fact that God restricts His power..He cant do anything evil, He does not violate our free will and He does not change natural laws for instance in suspending the law of gravity to save a baby falling from a high building. But this does not mean He wants these bad things in our life..His power I suppose is seen in how he works this and that out to let us see how he works things out for eventual good and for our growth..

Yet when in the midst of suffering I too blame God and curse life. But I don't think it is that simple. A God who can build a word so complex that each growing food has so much healing power in it and the beautiful diversity of birds, flowers, sunsets, rocks etc -who invents a system of breastfeeding and hormones that causes women to become more motherly etc would have a less complicated answer for why people suffer or why some suffer more or less and I suppose one will have to wait to have this explained to us in ways that will eventually resonate with us for why this was the way it had to be.

The bottom line is someone on here sent me a message and has tried to help me and I discovered though chance some things that got me while far from perfect or pain free,  no longer screaming the past month or so though I have bad days.

And for that I am so grateful as who could live with that much pain and et people do...I will never forget decades ago hearing this man on the radio injured in war who suffered intense and severe nerve damage talking about his intense nerve pain and wishing everyday he could die and I think talking of suicide. I know few things hurt like nerve pain and for moments I got such nerve pain I almost went out of my mind but luckily that super super intense one left if I changed positions so only had that for short time and the other nerve pain I had though it made me scream was still less intense than some I felt and that which some people must live with. Nerve pain can range from awful to want to die awful most of it bad.

To put it all to these other events like past life trauma, karma etc and not understand that this is how the body sometimes reacts to car accidents is not too cool.

I never forget in one of these books on the survivor accounts that were shocking in what these Cambodians suffered I never heard such awful tails in my life there was in one book, a picture of a man who had just found out his entire family--wife and a dozen kids-- was killed suddenly in a single bombing the US did,...the look of pain etched on his face never left me..to say that was some fault of his cause of some past death or event from another life or some karma he chose to take on to balance things or something he did would be cruel..I can't buy that...he did nothing..we did it...we killed his whole family.

Maybe not deliberately who knows but it was the event of natural law and mans; free will..it was our free will that God did not stop of war and it was the natural law of a bomb hitting you causes death and destruction it is designed to do by man.

It's like many of the things we suffer --they have a cause. How many people die awful deaths of cancer etc caused by things we put in the environment for profit and stuff like that. Not everything that happens to us is our fault.

God often gets blamed saying it was God's will someone died when maybe it was cause they smoked or cause some company had a filthy, disease ridden slaughterhouses and the evil or deranged person killed their child or something

I cannot understand how you see someone suffering one woe after another and you immediately think somehow it is their fault or something..sometime sh_t happens.

I cannot think it is just an accident that this person who its seems helped me contacted me just as I don't think it is an accident that God sends certain sick people to me for advice.

I think we are not quick enough to see God in the good that happens but maybe too quick to see Him in the bad.

I would have a hard time understanding how a person was so nice and kind and went so out of their way for someone that they told them they are so unique and different and one in 6 billion would have a past life of absolutely torturing people to get this kind of karma.

I don't see how someone could go from so mean to so kind in a lifetime. The whole thing does not rally resonate with me though I did think about it. In the end, I must go with what the gospel says on this matter.

Nonetheless, I do thank you for having the kindness to think about it and try to offer some help and suggestions. That I disagree with them does not mean I do not recognize your caring in responding or the possibility that maybe you are right and I am wrong but one cannot prove beliefs of this type so go with what feel true to them. Perhaps the suggestions even if they do not help me might help some other readers.















 

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