Date:   8/3/2011 5:12:43 PM ( 13 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1842428

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hi,

I am really with you, similar age, and body type.

I too find it frustrating that fasting relieves my issues only temporarily. I am actually struggling to even get fasting again right now. I know I will get there. Not really struggling -- I'm on track -- I just get terrified about the TRACK!!! -- hard to explain what I mean. Like I get feelings of not having been "satisfied" on the bad foods I HAVE eaten in life and of HAVING to have more binges of them. Anyway my strategy is to take my process of diet-cleanup slowly, to persuade myself to make the changes permanent. I still have not really explained what I am going through mentally and emotionally/spiritually. I will have to sit down with myself about that tonight when I do my writing. Basically I am assailed by terrifying periods of thinking that ... I don't know... the clean diet will be unendurable? It is hard to explain the states I go into about this lifestyle change... anyway: the diet cleanup comes before fasting. I really want to make this diet cleanup I am doing right now, the final cleanup of my life, and be committed from here onward to just keeping a clean diet. And fasting. That is just how I have to live, and I accept it. I know I can get used to it and it will not be difficult after a while. After that point I will just have to resist the delusional thinking that will come, that will say I can just get away with having an occasional binge. I think that, like an alcoholic, I really have to commit to lifetime abstinence. No breaks. it's hard to think about but I have to do it. I have just to keep on confronting and bearing the idea of keeping the abstinence.

I know the answer for me is making real permanent lifestyle changes and this is really truly hard but I can do it with support. For me it is all about staying on course to totally clean up my diet for real and as a life choice. my diet has to be really really super-pure. My goal is living bitter-tasting highly-(mature-)sprouted green foods only. So far I have achieved raw foods only -- 60 days or 70 days now. I had 2 years all raw, previously. But I am still just kind of finding ways to make raw vegan desserts. I HAVE cleaned this up to a great extent. But I am a little way still from keeping off all except what needs to be my diet -- things in the nature of alfalfa sprouts. Yes, it is safe. (That diet is safe.) No... it isn't fun, at first. ... Yes, it is worth it in the end; and sometimes quite quickly the results come with the "sober" lifestyle.

Please be in touch if you like. You can email me on here -- it will reach me. Lots of love.
 

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