-Must have a busy schedule. This must be legit. Holding down a 3.8 in the College of Engineering while working two jobs, running a business, publishing original research=busy. Sleeping in until 2 in the afternoon, smoking with your friends, watching re-runs of �It�s Always Sunny in Philadelphia�=not busy.
That way, we can always blame everything on �timing.� (It�s not you or me)
-Must play control games with me. I will push and shove, and it is your job to nonverbally put me in my place by constantly �taking control of the situation.� This is how you will establish your �dominance.� This will not be easy (but that�s what makes it fun).
Other ways to �stay in control:� ask all the questions, do all of the interrogation. If I ever become upset, accuse me of being �emotional� or �unreasonable.� It's always "inside my head." Also, see me when it is convenient for you. Don't always answer my calls. Remain somewhat aloof. You don�t want to let me have the upper hand.
-Must be willing to banter back and forth with me. I will get bored and lose interest otherwise.
-Must be into exciting and potentially dangerous activities, like stealing road signs, driving like a maniac, and getting arrested by the police.
Actually, scratch that last one. There is a difference between risky and reckless. Then there is �retarded.� (I�m still undecided on where to place �posting personal ads on Craigslist.�)
In turn, will never call you too much (although I won�t hesitate to call you out) nor will I make you feel guilty about not �spending enough time with me.� I won�t nag you about commitment (or �where this relationship is going�) because it will never be �that� serious. We won�t talk about feelings because�well, I�d rather not.
Only short-listed applicants will be contacted (no phone calls or multiple e-mails, please).