Date:   5/12/2011 8:26:38 AM ( 14 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1810829

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I have been feeling really good and then whoops it sneaks back in. I am very impatient!~ I want my life back.
I feel selfish for saying that! I am just in a moment here and needed to VENT!
I have seen a huge improvement since removal and with all the help I have been getting but I am still on the dreaded monthly cycle. 2 good weeks and 2 horrible weeks. Usually what happends is the 2 horrible weeks erase the good ones. I am only about 2 months post but I am always nervous about what is next. What next symptom will come out. Will this month be like last month or will I be worst. I try to stay positive and most days it gets me through the day. I guess when I am a few more months post I will know what the month brings? But some of you girls say that you thought you had it figured out and then out of the blue it changes! (THAT IS SCARY)
I am so in the "Its not fair" moment. I feel like a child! I know there are worst things out there and that is what I tell myself to brush off some of the symptoms or try to make sense of them. But It still gets me upset that I can't get a handle on this. I am a strong person but still can't control this! Its a time it will past!

I have had fantastic days were I forgot I was sick. YAY then it sneaks back in. I know it takes time to heal, I just don't want to wait anymore. I want to feel good now, I want to be able to plan for the future and not have the worry "well that might fall on my back week". I want to get excited to put on makeup go get my hair done. I want to walk around like a normal woman at my age, i get mad at my friends who are complaining about the little things where I feel somedays I am in the battle for my life. Some days I feel so discouraged cause I don't want to live with what mirena has left me with, constant eye floaters (that I know will not go away and that makes me very very sad) my vision sometimes blurry/sometimes perfect. A sense of helplessness over my own body.
My vision has improved a lot since removal but I still see ghosting images that seem worst on my bad days or when I am tired. I just can't rely on my body anymore. ITs a scary feeling not knowing. Anyways I just needed to vent. Like I have vented before, its like I just keep repeating myself. My poor husband and family... I am so blessed to have them.

I don't want to discourage anyone! I have seen a huge improvement since removal. I am not constantly anxious, depressed, nauseated, vision problems. On my bad days they do come back but not at the extreme of what they were. I keep telling myself that, to get me through the rough patch.
But what pisses me off is that I am not 100% and who knows if I will ever be 100% and that gets me upset. Cause I want to live this life to the fullest and experience everything and not live on a 2 week basis. I have great help, and with time I will get as good as I can, I guess! I just have to give it time!!! BUT HOW MUCH TIME??? Is the saddest part.

thanks for listening.
God Bless
 

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