Date:   5/1/2011 2:21:00 AM ( 13 y ago)
Hits:   3,679
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1806139

i have a question i doubt this has been talked about. this all goes back to the past. There was some guys that I used to talk to and he said I put stipulations on people. I asked him what do you mean? He said well you don't seem to like people who have kids. I said i am talking about small children. I am not interested in being someones friend and they got kids. I am 24 yrs old, do you know how hard it is to find college aged women with no kids who wanna have fun? my common interest isnt kids, why would u befriend me knowing i have no kids or have any interest in them? i told one chick who had a 3 yr old i said i dont wanna hear about what ur kid did, i dont get excited when a 3 yr does something, id more into money and business. she didnt like that answer well she wanted me to be honest. That question got me really thinking about putting stipulation on people.

I was trying to be friends with this one person who was just absolute drama. he worked 40 hrs a week and who doesnt? he complained like he was the only person who worked that long. this guy never had a social life im shocked he even went to the grocery store. at that time, he was like 4-5 yrs older than me. he knew i was outgoing when he met me but still complained about my social life. he even complained how his own friends were turning their backs on him because he had no social life. i told him at least they work full time jobs but they dont let that stop them from having fun and he got mad at me.

i would go this house every weekend and nothing wrong with that but every weekend?!?! we didnt do anything just chat. i dont have a prob with chatting but we didnt do anything fun and it was bringing me down. it just didnt work out knew him for a week and dropped him. im sorry, but i am outgoing and loves to party and stay out all night. right now, i am still going thru trauma from home life and i am still battling this deep Depression for 7+ yrs. ppl that i have met b4 i met my bf just disappointed me like i said complaining about full time and being so tired. i dont use my age as an excuse not to have fun, if someone asks me u wanna go to that party? i will sure be there!

i tried to be friends with a 30, 35, and 38 yr old a long time ago and that definitely didnt work. all they did was used if u were my age u would be tired etc. i worked at retail when i was 19, in the summer, 37.8 hours and i was like is this full time? i got a taste of working that long but it didnt stop me from having a life. i value my social life i dont know about anyone else. i felt they were boring and the sad things were they didnt wanna do anything i wanted to do and i didnt wanna do anything they wanted to do.they name hobbies they liked that i didnt like at all. it just didnt work so i said bye.

fast forward to 2011, the economy is really crappy and yea ppl are having a hard time trying to enjoy life while looking for a job. i am not meeting the ppl i wanna meet, last year, i was like i am so fed up with ppl. i hardly even speak to strangers in public because of how i am so disgusted with people. i met someone at a workshop who is really nice but the problem is she got twin 7 yr olds and i am not into kids, im not the family type never was. that is how i feel and it is eating me up inside.

i am 25 yrs old. now, ppl say thats putting stipulation on others. i said i know what i like and dont like, i certainly dont like those kinds of ppl who r just going to bring me down. its like i might as well be friends with high schoolers or high school grads that love to have fun!! the only friends i have are from my congregation who are much older but they r like my family. ppl in the 20s and early 30s seem to disappoint me. it just seems most people i meet dont want to have a social life, go clubbing/drinking, etc thats what i wanna do.

it reminds me of the mistreatment i got from friends. they felt they were "babysitting me" cuz i couldnt stay out all night cuz my mom would bitch about staying late and yea i live at home. i had a friend one time who said i feel like i am babysitting you and i told her i didnt ask for a babysitter u know how my dumb mom is she doesnt have a life at all whatsoever and doesnt want anyone else to have one, u know that. she did this to my older sister thats why she is 3k away from our parents. my friend at that time said u r grown and its obvious ur own mother doesnt seem to get it. after that, my own friend didnt get it she knew about my home life. she decided to drop me and same with some other friends who did the samething. it hurt so bad i didnt deserve that kind of treatment maybe thats why i said ppl disappoint me. i told this friend ur parents may treat u like ur grown, but those are ur parents not mine.

my mom also ran my friends off on purpose so thats how i lost a lot of them. they didnt wanna be around me anymore cuz of my mom's evil aura filled with negativity. i am not making friends right now due to no job and if i have a friend i cant pay for my own things nor do i want her to do it for me. my communication skills are not so good, i ended up becoming a mute. i cant keep a conversation long enough, when i talk i kinda either mumble my words, no eye contact or sometimes, or just talk quietly not being heard. i envy those who r outgoing cuz thats what i used to be b4 my parents destroyed me. i used to be really outgoing, but that has been destroyed by my parents and i miss being that person. i do not accept the kind of person i have become. yes, it is hard trying to have a good attitude. i dont see how its possible when i have to live in a negative environment.

another person told me i stereotype on age. i said if you met some of the much older ones, u would see the drama i went through. i just didnt click with them like i thought i would. i swear its like i am still making friends who are like my parents with nasty negative energy which i wanna get away from. i do want to work on my communication skills like going to Toastmasters, i went there as a guest but dont have the money to go every week not sure how that would work when getting a job. i really dont wanna keep attracting new friends who were like some of my old friends, like i said about the mistreatment.

anyway, my question is do u call this putting stipulation on others? why or why not? any suggestions/opinions? has anyone ever felt so disappointed in ppl? i am a ppl person i love learning about someone new and where they came from. i am wondering how can i have a better attitude and attract the kind of ppl i wanna meet? i guess i just do not have any guidance in my life....
 

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