Firstly, let's keep this in mind throughout what I'm posting below >>> right side of my face is feeling weird again and well just everything I was feeling before<<<
So, you are familiar with this and you know it's something you've experienced before, and the only harm it has ever caused is...?...none? The only harm I recall would be fear, stress, tension, panic and gazillions of trips to the ER for testing, some of which were harmful & invasive.
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Always remember what you know about benzos.
#1 Healing is NOT linear with benzodiazpenes. You don't get slightly better day by day (in a stright line) and then it's gone. You have "pockets" of good days & bad. As you heal, the good pockets get progressively bigger and longer; and the bad pockets become less frequent. You can experience or trigger a bad pocket any time (even without a trigger).
#2 They don't even consider that you're experiencing PWS (Protracted Withdrawal Syndrome - symptoms/pockets of benzo use/withdrawal) until you're still having symptoms/pockets two years after your last dose. I'm pretty sure your last dose was less than two years ago. If so, you're *supposed* to still be having bad pockets occasionally.
So that's one reason why you could "flip" in one day.
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EFT-tapping...how many rounds have you done? I would have done at least 3-4 before I posted and several since, along with taking whatever 'calming herb' I had found worked for me.
You can tap where you were hit with the softball; when you tap you don't have to do more than touch the ball of your finger to a specific point (with the same tenderness you'd touch a child's owie). If you could tolerate a doctor or nurse (or yourself) gently touching the area in an exam, you can tap. If your injury is so extreme that even the lightest touch from the ball of your own finger is too excruciating to bear, then you need to be more worried about that than anything else.
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How much cayenne and/or other calming herbs have you taken? What effect/s?
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Other possible reason/s:
Your liver is SEVERELY compromised and unless you've seen buckets full of flukes come out (since you've seen flukes before) you still have buckets full of flukes in their. Anxiety in various extremes is a common sign of parasites.
You just did a small liver flush yesterday, so you stirred everything up in your liver (likely including lots of dead/alive flukes and all the chemicals they emit). Go back and look at ray34iyf's posting history and see how anxious he became when killing/flushing flukes.
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Your liver is integral in turning Vitamin D from sunlight to actual Vitamin D...you already know your liver is compromised in a major way. I appreciate completely that you're moving ahead with your cleansing, but since we both know that all the great healers know/knew that no cancer is ever found unless there's liver compromise...and you know you have liver compromise, I think that would panic you enough to get on a serious liver cleansing regime asap and not allow "life" to interfere with it....particularly since the Vitamin D connection seems to be an issue for you. One flush and an unplanned flush is a 100% better than nothing, but it's really (really!) important you stay on track and stay incredibly consistent this time.
You should be doing a liver flush every week and doing coffee enemas everyday (something I've suggested strongly for years). You can make that happen.
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You got whacked in the head with a softball 2 days ago...I'd say the shock of getting whacked in the head with a softball just might trigger a symptom or two (particularly until the internal/swelling goes down). But even if there was no swelling or bruising, knowing that you're highly reactive to various chemical changes...and that DEFINITELY induced strong adrenal/gaba responses (and both systems are weakened by benzos) - well, that has to have something to do with it, eh?
---> If you feel you have serious damage then you should go to the hospital and have it checked out. But PLEASE do a few rounds of tapping first (at the very least). When you are strongly anxious/reactive, you are sure virtually everything that you experience is *serious*...and you've exposed yourself to LOTS of health-harming tests and procedures because of it. And there's this: >>> right side of my face is feeling weird again and well just everything I was feeling before<<< As in "before" when you had NOT been whacked with a softball, right?
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IF#2 does not suck Vitamin D out of your body. If you say that again, I'm coming down there with my rolling pin and give you something else to be anxious about! lol
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>>>I am beginning to wonder that I have low calcium and also wondering if I have parahyperthyroidism going on
>>>it just doesnt make sense ! when I took the vit d it caused me gastric distress but at the same time it calmed my nerves and made me feel normal again
>>>sorry to be so frank here but if something isnt done I am just gonna lose it for sure
>>>I really dont know how much longer I can hold it together and pretend there is nothing wrong
>>>I really dont know what to do at this point and need some knowledgeable advice
Let's get down to "good doctoring", Anne. When you have something wrong with your body and there IS an obvious reason, the first thing any good doctor will do is treat that which is obvious, right? right! (When we hear the sound of beating hooves on the road, we should not start looking for zebras!). If you treat that which is obviously wrong, cure whatever it is, and the symptoms don't go away, then you can start looking for zebras.
So, for over FIVE YEARS you've known you have very serious liver issues and liver flukes. Have you treated these two conditions appropriately? No, you haven't (for all kinds of various reasons). Are you being a good doctor for your body if you don't treat the obvious before looking for the zebras? No.
What do you need to do?
--A full, dedicated series of liver flushes (at least 2 monthly, but I'd do one weekly for awhile)...and continue doing flushes weekly/bi-weekly until the amount of debris seen coming out is consistently less than the flushes before (that means you'd need to have 3-5 flushes in a row that had progressively less debris, and absolutely no liver flukes).
--You need to be taking garlic (and likely other parasite herbs) consistently for several months - if you can't tolerate the normal 'blends' of parasite herbs, then eat what you can (garlic, pumpkin seeds, etc). Since you have serious ups n' downs with IF#2, I suggest a round or two of Humaworm (paying NO attention to their suggestion that you shouldn't flush or do CE's while taking it :::eyeroll:::)
--Coffee enemas daily
--Milk Thistle seed powder (working up to 3T daily)
--Liver Tincture for bitters (5 drops on the tongue 5x daily).
Your options for calming herbs: Valerian root or Nerve Sedative (Dr. Schulzes combo with a blend of calming herbs including Valerian) Either of those would be if you know that Valerian is calming for you - in 5% of the people Valerian causes excitement, in the other 95% it is VERY effective. Other options; Kava root (very similar to benzos in action, but no side-effects!); Passionflower; Wild Lettuce, Lady's Slipper. I know for a fact you don't have samples of all of these, but I don't know why you don't when they're only .01/penny each.
For adrenal support:
--Ashwagandha (1-3T of powder daily, or now we have the tincture - but it's pricey in comparison to the powder);
--Adrenal Tincture (for you, at least a teaspoon 3x daily, perhaps double that)
--some type of natural Vitamin C herb (acerola cherry powder - Pacific Botnanicals, or Amla berry powder: https://www.superorganicfoods.com/product_info.php?products_id=147 --and they are VERY wrong about their Vitamin C in Amla information - what they have published is based on VERY old research that's been disproven for years!)...mix a tablespoon or more of either in with your Superfood every day...or if not taking Superfood, then just mix it into some juice.
-- Bee Pollen (for B5) this is a good source, although it may take them a few days to ship:http://www.danskfarms.com/servlet/the-3054/100-pct--Pure-USA-Natural/Detail(work up to 4T daily -at least- this is also good for weight loss, amongst a zillion other good things). Keep it in the fridge or freezer.
Everytime you have one of these "reactions" you should immediately:
--Immediately close your eyes, start deep breathing, and force your lips into a smile (smiling actually alters your brain chemistry...it really does!)
--Take 1-3 teaspoons of whatever calming herb tincture you have found works best
--Take 2-4 droppersful of Cayenne tincture
--Do 3 full rounds of EFT (2 rounds of tapping; 1 gamut round; another round of tapping = "one full round")
--Then, if you feel like you need to post...post (and be sure to let us know exactly what you did, so that we can give you good advice)
You've been struggling with these same liver issues (and anxiety & reactions) now for well over 5 years. I understand that anxiety and 'reactions' can be brutal and very scary. I also understand that you ARE an intelligent woman that can reason logically...and that no physical harm has ever come from any of your 'reactions' or your anxiety. The only thing that has happened is that your fear has increased (and you continue looking for zebras). EFT done correctly will take care of part of this; cleansing your liver and ridding it of flukes will take care of the biggest part of the rest of it.
When something has gone on this long and it could have been cured or solved by now, any good doctor or therapist will ask "is there some reason this person is 'holding on' to these symptoms and not doing what it takes to remove them". At which point, the patient virtually always replies, "Well, of course not, do you think I want to go through this all the time?". At which point, the doctor/therapist raises their eyebrows and says, "Well, then, why are you?" That is not an accusation, Anne...because we all know emotions and fears are just as real as physical issues. On the EFT site, somewhere there's a list of suggested tap-phrases for those with "long term issues" of any type. (I didn't bookmark it, and I've never found it again :( Some of them went like this: "Even though keeping this "xyz" is relieving me of something I don't yet realize..."; "Even though having this "xyz" prevents me from having to face "abc"...", etc. The point is that we should all ask ourselves things like: Am I gaining anything (or do I think I'm gaining something) by keeping these symptoms/issues. OR Are these symptoms something I'm holding onto, because if I didn't have them, I'd have to face or deal with something I don't want to have to face or deal with. Whatever it is (or isn't) I am sure you wouldn't have messed around with any of your loved ones' health & liver like you've messed around with yours....you would have made sure they did what it takes to heal themself (because I know you are a very loving & responsible mom/wife/daughter). However, if you just read that, I said to yourself "I don't think that's true", then remember you have to believe in something in order to 'get 'er done' (virtually no one will do something they don't believe that they can do). So if you don't really believe natural healing will work, that's something different you could be tapping on.
When my first husband left me, I gained a LOT of weight...which is of course fairly typical and a symptom of the emotional pain (the food gave me emotional pleasure that kinda substituted for emotional pleasure from my husband). But after I was basically over the emotional trauma, I just couldn't make myself stick to a diet or a work-out schedule. I finally figgered out the reason was: if I was back to my normal 'hot lil' self' I'd end up getting lots of male attention again (and I was not emotionally equipped to handle it in ANY way...something I'd already proven to myself). So I sabotaged myself...staying fat kept me from having to deal with 'being hit on' (and it also kept me in a state of "poor pitiful me, my husband 'came out' and left me after almost 10 years of marriage, and look at what he did to me?"). Being fat & pitiful was much easier than facing the world on my own and stepping into my individual power and life victories (or apparently, that's what my subconscious mind and emotions were thinking). Of course, being a bit of gourmet, I did enjoy all the 'attention' I was giving myself by creating wonderful foods (not to mention, eating them...yum). I sure wish I would have had EFT then, it would have saved me quite a few of the "lost years". Of course, I'm not sayin' you have any of that, but I am sayin' it would be a big "duh" (for any of us), not to dig in a bit and see what might come to light. Besides, it'd be almost impossible not to have some level of emotional blockage about your various reactions & conditions...and emotions are just as big of a part as the rest of it (especially with the liver...which is the 'seat of the emotions'.
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There's nothing about natural healing that is too scientifically advanced or 'intellectual' to prevent even a grade-schooler from getting their head around it and doing it. In the end, the only thing that prevents any of us from doing it and living a life of vibrant health is OURSELF...we don't really want it 'bad enough' (why?); we're not comfortable 'without a doctor' (why?); we don't think we should 'have to' (why?); we won't prioritize our lifestyle accordingly (why?); we think we need friends/family that support/agree with us (why?); we don't really believe we can get cancer like anybody else (why?)...there's always a reason (or group of reasons). But it all boils down to the same thing - it's our responsibility to identify those reasons, address them face to face, knock them out and get to work so we can have what we all deserve - the freedom of living our life in a healthy body!
and give you something else to be anxious about! lol