Date:   1/10/2011 1:45:33 PM ( 14 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1750364

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Hi, 3rdday,
I just wanted to acknowledge your posts and how I have enjoyed reading them. I have been reading a lot of what you have written because I just in the past week or so started to come to this forum frequently again, as I have made my way along a path finally out of food addiction and into fasting.

I respond to the spiritual experience you describe. I have just (the past 2 or 3 days or maybe it's even newer than that) had a private sort of conversion, from being someone who could not fast to being someone who could. It took me a long time (years) and has just begun but is the most important personal change that I have ever achieved in my life. This is a miracle for me. It is a miracle. I have worked really hard for it. I want to tell how it all came about but ... well, anyone who wants to know can e-mail me. I have difficulty telling of my experience. I have trouble believing that my story is acceptable and that what's important to me is acceptable (even in God's eyes). So I feel... guilty? telling about my experience and validating it. I can't explain. All I can say is that when I imagine relating my conversion experience I feel terrifying fear. Like I don't want to assert to God what is important to me and be "officially" shot down and judged bad and the things that are important to me judged wrong.

Just some thoughts to try and understand the obstacles that until now have prevented me from fasting and being healed.

Anyway, it is now the case, with me, that "the decision is made," and I will simply take the fast, not be tormented by the compulsion to break it or have to fight that compulsion constantly, doubting myself. The decision is made, to fast, and I am just going to do it. This makes it almost easy.

Doubts do come, but they are not like before. Still, for me it is good to have ways to deal with them. I have just read on another fasting forum an idea that helped me. The idea was to pick something that motivated you: being able to make a positive post, being able to tell someone who doubted you that you have succeeded? "Beating the scale" was one motivation the person posting mentioned, and that was powerful for me.




 

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