Date:   11/26/2010 10:31:37 AM ( 14 y ago)
Hits:   2,413
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1730034

I don't have much time to write but you NEED to stay here!!!!

Your children need you!!!

Your grieving makes total sense to me. I have one daughter, 8 years old, and cannot ever say that I've been in your position but I know the connection I felt with my daughter early on when she was growing in me was real and amazing. It has ONLY been a month for you, be kind and gentle with yourself.

As a single mom, I share the guilt and pain of not always being able to be there for your kids in the way you would like. Your husband getting a better paying job may be helpful but I know from kids and parents I have met that it is the ATTITUDE the mom has towards it all that makes the biggest difference. If the mom is okay with everything and is confident her kids will be able to handle it (not everything in life is rosy), then the kids WILL be able to handle it and they will grow up well adjusted. Knowing that you love them, modelling a loving and respectful relationship with your husband goes WAY further and does much more for them as people that you always being physically there for them (if you need to work).

I stressed about that A LOT when my daughter was younger and I realized she fed off of my emotions even when I thought I was hiding them. When I realized I was okay, that I needed to work to support us, that my daughter was okay if I was present and happy when we were together, that that is what made her feel more secure, a lot of my anxiety around that was gone.

Your miscarriage has NOTHING to do with you NOTHING at all- you are NOT a failure, you are NOT a bad mom. You have to let that go and have to stop letting fear rule your life. That is what will get you in the end, not whether or not you have the biggest, safest car.

When my daughter was first born, I was super fearful, super anxious- couldn't believe what other parents would do with their kids (leave them outside a coffee shop in the stroller while they ran in to get a coffee, etc). I think that some women are really protective of their babies and that something happens hormonally to initiate that. It sounds like even if you miscarried, that could be what is happening to you?

Women that tend to be like that also tend to be copper toxic from what I have read. I think I am and if you have adrenal issues chances are you may be too. Since I have started to address that, I have noticed a shift in how fearful I feel about my daughter's safety and my own (my fear about my own safety is only related to what would happen to her if something happened to me).
 

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