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Re: thinking of remembering of child sexua| abuse by francis bob ..... Child Sexual Abuse Survivors Support

Date:   11/17/2010 3:22:41 PM ( 12 years ago ago)
Hits:   2,930

holy shit just looking through pictures of my child hood i have stumbled upon a pictures of my trip to colorado i was about6 or 7 and i have a picture of me b4 and after having ski trip lessons i have a picture of me b4 and i look like i confident not scared and very eager picture of me i look like a normal boy. then i have a picture of me after it and i look so depressed and confused and scared and almost like a girl in the other pictures. and then theres a picture of my ski instructor and the jacket the clothes hes wearing . i remember me freakin out at that ski trip and i think this is where it happened and now remembering this trip its makin my body and head freak out. and remembering me going into complete shock and traumatized and i remember me thinking i was in my instructos uniform or i am him, its almost like my whole life after that was his and not my own its f***in horricble. after i was traumatized i went crazy ithink and totally forgot i reemember after that (its very vague) me being so sad and almost like i should die kind of feeling like just pure hell. and like i lost my self that trip. everytime i try to remember it my mind goes numb and i cant think i still cant believe thats this would happen to my life it ruined it and this is why i forgot so long ago. and i remember just some ones eyes being so stained into me or something just being the worst eyes or like those eyes control me or keep me down its like its my abusers eyes. its like it took away my whole life like i died at some point wen this happend its feels terrible

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