Date:   9/19/2010 9:36:04 AM ( 14 y ago)
Hits:   4,694
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1691897

For the past 2 years my life is nothing but a lie, a sophisticated lie i weaved so well and got caught up in it... I know i probably have been labeled as an excessively chronic pathological liar...But this is not a joke. It took me a long time to realize that maybe i have a problem, in the processing of hurting lots of people. I've paid my price.My marriage fell apart and i wont be able to see my son grow as much as i wanted to and i have left behind girls that are heart broken and resentful.It's more than just my life that i've ruined...It all started as a small lie, like i would tell a girl i met at the bar that i'm single so that i could have sex with her, while my wife was pregnant.There was also small lies that i made up for my nonexsist army life and other experience that i made up..I had seen those lies made me more attractive and got me more sex and i guess i got addicted to it since then. I kept telling myself they were the one time off thing and would never happen again...My marriage was on rocks and I took a job as strength coach in China to get away. My lying continued and got even worse there. In there i was a free man again, well almost if not for the fact that legally i was still married. I took off the wedding band and went single.I've weaved incredible webs of lies and created many characters where i had those whole different lives and they believed me.It gave me the highs i dont why.But everytime a girl found out which they always did,i saw in their eyes the shock and the disgust like i just turned an horrible animal overnight, i felt the guilt...and in the back of my mind i alway felt that little shadowy guit torwards my wife and our baby boy i left behind to persue a new bachelor life which was a lie i later realized.I'm not a bad person but i have lived a lie.Before i knew it, my lying had went from complusive to habitual cause everytime a lie is out i had to make up more to back up that one.I have fooled them and i have fooled even myself.

I'm seeing a therapist now and thought i would use this as a supplement step to recovery.It is pretty much my pethetic life in a nut shell that you've read...If you are gonna tell me to f*** off then please dont even bother replying...I've got enough of that. I'm not coming here to ask any mercy nor judgement.

Thanks,

Greg
 

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