Date:   9/2/2010 8:26:00 PM ( 14 y ago)
Hits:   6,806
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1683065

Iam new to this board. I hope that some of you may have experience in the questions I am going to ask. To make a very long rocky story short. About a year and a half ago I met the man I am now married to.

We dated for a year and then against my better judgement I got married to him in March. Its not that I did not wish to marry him at some point. Its just that I new that it was too soon and we had a less than ideal relationship up until that point. In the beginning it was wonderful..... I'm sure you are all familiar with this part of the story. Then I started to get the feeling that he was seeing other people even though we had both agreed to manogomy. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and now I am sorry that I did. Recently a disgruntled ex of his notified me of several relationships and several one night stands he had while involved with me.

Also over the past months I had already come to the conclusion that there was something wrong with him. He was always moody, discontent and angry. He was constantly drinking and on the internet. As I learned more about BPD. I came to realize that he had not a few but all of the symptoms associated with the disorder. I was devastated. When the ex sent me all of the information about his infidelity I sent it to an uncle of mine who is in law inforcement to find out how much of what she was saying could be true.When my husband found out he got angry at me for not giving the information to him to check into ?????? Is it me or is it crazy for him to have expected me to do this? Then in the midst of all this I found out that I was pregnant. He was not happy about this even though we are financially sound and can afford it. I was not planning on this but do not personally believe in abortion. He vasilates from telling me he loves me to being angry I did not give the information to him. One day he seems happy about the baby and one day he does not. Over the past few months he had actually done better. But then when I found out about his infidelity he seems to be back to square one. Tonight he is having an old drinking buddy over to "talk". This man was present during most of his infidelity and when I asked if he planned on associating with him again he told me he was just talking to him... translation... telling him our personal business. I don't know what to do anymore. Has anyone here actually managed to save their marriage to someone with BPD and has anyone ever experienced their spouse get help and get better. He reduced greatly the amount of alcohol he had been drinking over the past 4 months but that is probably the only major change I have seen in him. I have discussed counseling with him but he does not seem to want to go. I could really use advice. Especially from anyone who has seen the light at the end of the tunnel whether it was by staying or leaving. Thank you in advance for your wisdom and help.

JLW
 

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