Date:   8/27/2010 4:08:24 PM ( 14 y ago)
Hits:   3,170
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1678617

I'll echo much of what Marylo said. I, too, wonder why you didn't just tell him that you were too depressed at the time to want to meet him? You said you both connected, then you should have been comfortable enough to tell him of your depression. So...you didn't tell him, he made a trip just to meet you---and you didn't show, nor did you tell him the reason why. Do you really wonder why he broke it off? As Marylo pointed out, he doesn't know the reason you didnt show. For all he knew, you weren't a young woman but an older man pretending to be something other than himself. Stories like that are common in these internet times.

I'm sure you now know that there is no shame in admitting that you were depressed. Looking back, for example, there were people in my life that suddenly and abruptly stopped getting in touch with me despite my trying to keep the connection alive. From what I know now, I'm guessing that some of them were depressed. I really wish that they told me this at the time and let me know it wasn't personal and that they needed time to get it together. Or after they dealt with their depression, had gotten in touch to explain to me why they cut off contact. I wouldn't have held it against them. Instead, I would have welcomed the chance to reconnect.

You ask:

How can I make him see that I've changed and make him give me a new chance? How can I make him want to meet me again?

First of all---you can't make him do anything. All you can do is email him and give him a very lengthy explanation as to why you stood him up when he came to meet you. Also, make sure you give a sincere apology to him. Then go on and let him know that you have changed. If you went through therapy to get to where you are, let him know this, too.

After telling him all of this, then the ball will be in his court. As I said, you can't make him do anything but you can extend an olive branch to him. Whether he wants to try again, is strictly up to him.

Best of luck with everything!
 

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