Date:   6/19/2010 7:34:38 AM ( 14 y ago)
Hits:   3,061
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1639976

2 readers agree with this message.  Hide votes     What is this?

You can't play that "what if" game when lives are at stake.

Blue Rose was spot-on.  CALL THE HOTLINE and get going!  This phase, as you call it, is a typical and predictable technique that all abusers use to keep their source targets off-balance.  "He MUST care about me/us!  Look at the sudden change!"  Honey, the change isn't genuine and it's 100% temporary.  The instant you agree to remain, the switch goes off and the monster returns.

If it were me (AND, IT HAS BEEN), I'd do the following things:

-  call the hotline and ask for local resources - this includes restraining orders, counseling/therapy, legal assistance, temporary safe housing, and knowledge on all local/State laws with regard to separation, custody/visitation/divorce issues

-  inform MY family and MY friends (not mutual friends) about everything that's going on and take ownership of my poor choice in a partner and ASK FOR  HELP

-  begin forming a SECRET exit plan after speaking with a counselor/therapist AND a top-notch divorce attorney

-  stick to my plan to exit, get the hell out, and continue counseling/therapy until I've developed some self-confidence and self-esteem

This is not going to "get better," at any point.  Never, ever, not tomorrow, not in a month, not with marriage counseling, and not with Jesus - it will never get better!  It is only going to get worse.  And, someone with money can easily hire someone to "take care" of you and/or your precious baby.  Get the hell out and stop making excuses.  If you choose to remain for any reason/excuse you are playing Russian Roulette with your life, and the life of your baby. 

At this point, you recognize that he is an abuser and that you are living in an abusive environment.  With this understanding, it is now YOUR responsibility for accepting and tolerating the abuse if you choose to remain, even though he is the one inflicting the abuse.  It would be a different story if you were not aware that you were being abused, but that's not the case, now.  So take control of YOUR safety and the safety of your precious baby back and do whatever it takes to get out.

Best wishes to you.

<< Return to the standard message view

fetched in 0.11 sec, referred by http://www.curezone.org/forums/fmp.asp?i=1639976