Date:   6/17/2010 12:01:35 PM ( 14 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1639241

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Both submission and rebellion are a sacrifice of personal power. When you are truly free, nobody can make you do anything. Rebellion that evokes so much fear the oppressors make a martyr of you, is an unnecessary sacrifice of personal power.

Belief in the inherent goodness of life itself, and understanding that everyone alive has the same needs and feelings, can be a much more powerful agent for change than martyrdom.

The willingness to risk personal martyrdom, and incite a mass rebellion, with hope that it will prevent a massacre, has resulted in 500,000 caskets being prepared for the masses. Although it does not make sense to massacre everyone, the intention to massacre many, if necessary, is conceivable. And the future for those who remain living, if a massacre happens, is bleak indeed. It is important to find another way. And there is a better way.

Needs and feelings are universal. Is there anyone who has never felt angry, sad, afraid or happy? Is there anyone who does not need oxygen, food, shelter, water and touch? If more attention could be paid to meeting everyone's needs, and everybody was willing to cooperate in ways that would allow everyone to get their needs met, it would be possible to collectively minimize suffering.

Doing so requires feelings and needs literacy, as well as the courage to be vulnerable and express them.

Robotic substitution of judgments and evaluations is less frightening to people than expressing feelings and needs because we have been conditioned to think in terms of right and wrong. We fear we have been selfish and lazy, when the people we care about get upset. We believe "they" are selfish and inconsiderate, when we feel unhappy. Neither is true. Feelings and needs are universal and inevitable. People simply don't know how to express them in a way that results in greater happiness.

It is easier for everyone to get their needs met, when people are aware of them, respect them and express them, in a manner that will inspire others to meet them.

It is not possible for one person, or group of people, to get their needs met at the expense of another without creating serious problems for themselves and others.
Persisting in attempting to do so can result in dire consequences.

As long as both sides remain hopelessly embroiled in a struggle for power or dominance, instead of learning to cooperate and strategize so everyone's needs can be met, annihilation will remain nigh.

Developing feelings and needs literacy is the first step.

Having the courage to take responsibility for them by expressing them respectfully, is the second step.

Hearing the feelings and needs of others, even when they are substituting judgments and evaluations because of their conditioning, is the third step.

Teaching, by demonstration, the power of feeling and needs literacy, and helping everyone get their needs met, even those who are not yet aware of their feelings and needs, is the fourth step.

The process requires developing greater self-awareness and new communication habits. It is the solution to the problems we are facing... if there is enough time left.

If not, one of my favorite Gurus said, "It only takes one person sitting in Samadhi to rebuild the entire Universe!"

I sincerely hope he was right.

This is what I have been learning from Marshall Rosenberg, the author of several wonderful books:
Speak Peace in a World of Conflict (my favorite)
The Heart of Social Change
and
Nonviolent Communication, A Language of Life







 

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