Date:   6/2/2010 4:35:19 PM ( 14 y ago)
Hits:   1,404
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1631925

Not looking for a reply here or anything, just thought it would be good to have a record incase any other Type 1's find their way here and want to try =)

So I’ve completed the second week of my IP, well actually 2 and a half weeks of my IP (haven’t had a chance to sit down and write this till now). This week as been much more trying, much more frustrating, more aggravating. I feel angry and upset and all kinds of emotions.
The biggest obstacles this week have been blood sugars, dehydration, stomach not emptying, and probably not getting in enough nutrients. Biggest upsets to me personally are lack of control of my sugars, feelings of failure, and no significant changes in my health since beginning.
So to give a little rundown of the past week , my sugars have just been running way too high, in the 3 and 4 hundreds. I tried switching doses of insulin, more insulin, less insulin, and have been trying not to supplement the high blood sugars with quick acting insulin. I was trying to give my pancreas a chance to kick in itself but it didn’t want to. I tried more juice to see if maybe my liver was spitting out glucose because it thought I didn’t have enough energy, that didn’t work. Through talking with my healing advisor we decided adding some food back in (raw vegan) might be beneficial (as I had also stopped having BM’s without the help of enemas). I decided to go up on insulin until I reached a point where I was stable again because apparently my pancreas just wasn’t ready. This was decided last Friday…It is now the following Wednesday and my sugars are still not stable. Apparently it seems like I am just going to have to supplement with short acting insulin. I am still going into the 300s around 3 pm everyday and staying there for extended periods of time despite having increased my long acting insulin to 8 units 2 x a day (up from 5 units 1 x a day). There was one day where my sugars weren’t too bad but I think that was a fluke, cause today I’ve been back in the 300s again. I also had a low blood Sugar last night. When I split my long acting insulin into 2 doses I go low at night, but If I don’t split it I run out before morning and end up in the 300’s. There just doesn’t seem to be a right answer. A few negatives about the high blood sugars is I feel like I am not retaining any of the nutrients I am trying so hard to put in, therefore my body doesn’t have the fuel to heal itself. I’m peeing everything out. Also I am getting very dehydrated (which I suspect is adding to my BM’s stopping). I started the program with 2 IF1s. I had no trouble the first week having BMs on my own, needing only 5 If1’s a night. I am now up to 10 if1’s and still nothing. I did have luck in that department yesterday but none today. This is aggravating obviously, not to mentions is going to cost me more money because I’m using so many IF1;s. The dehydration is causing me to wake up with Charlie horses and I’m experiencing kidney pain. I wake up with horrible headaches (not new for me, but worse since the high blood sugars have been happening). Also High blood sugars just make you feel like crap, and I think my left eye has been slightly blurry. And I’m soo thirsty and I just can’t be quenched.
Another obstacle is my stomach not emptying properly. This has been a problem for me for years, but I never really realized. I used to get away eating an apple for breakfast and a small salad for dinner and maybe a snack and feel completely satisfied for the day. I thought I just had a small appetite little did I realize my stomach was filling up and staying full and that was why I never really was very hungry. Having to fit in all the shakes and juices and slippery elm and now eat some food is pretty much impossible. All day my stomach is puffed up like a balloon ready to burst, it is extremely uncomfortable, painful, and embarrassing. A great cause of anger. I only do 2 slippery elms a day, only 2 superfoods, and often times only four if#2’s because I don’t have room. I burp up food hours after I eat it. I’ve been taking extra ACV and eating a little bit of pineapple or putting it in my juice to help with enzymes. Also always trying to take the ACV bomb on an empty stomach to make sure the cayenne really gets in there. So far it isn’t helping. It is making it next to impossible to get my juices/nutrients in. I’m only getting maybe 2 cups a day.
Over the last week I’ve been getting more rundown (high blood sugars and all that’s been going with it are a big part of it) having a much harder time getting up and getting started with my day. I’ve been pretty upset with what feels like a lack of progress, I know all these wonderful things are supposedly going on inside my body, but it is hard to stay positive when I haven’t dropped any insulin, if anything I need more, my gut is still not emptying and since starting food again I am constantly bloated, not just from having a full stomach but also my intestines are inflamed. Doesn’t matter if it is raw or lightly steamed food, it’s really embarrassing to me and looks ridicules on a 110 lbs person. And I realized I still get extremely fatigued/headachy after eating and BM’s. I thought the intestinal issues were actually a lot better because while 100% juicing I didn’t bloat really at all and felt a little better. Headaches are there, yeast hasn’t gotten any better, defiantly still have huge intestinal issues as I still get pain I can feel in my colon. My rectum I think is swelling or inflamed, it is getting increasingly difficult/painful inserting the enema tip thing. I’m still having hair loss, and I’m getting all my usual symptoms of my period coming (I have horrible periods, nausea, diarrhea, 8 hours-ish of extremely bad pain, huge clots, extreme fatigue and depression). And I’ve broken out with a million zits on my forehead, and I rarely get zits (yea I know maybe it’s a good sign, but I’d rather have a different one…heh).
Emotionally it is tough…I’m definitely going to have to do a few cycles of this and the idea of that is overwhelming. I didn’t even make it 2 full weeks 100% juice. I have all these fears that I am spending all this money and going through all this trouble and I’m not going to get better (that all goes back to every doctor I have ever seen which has told me I will get better using their method/diet/drug/supplement/etc. and it never happens). I’m thinking I should get back on juice 100% because it seems to make no difference whether I eat or not. I hate the lack of answers, the lack of certainty. I hate how every decision I am making feels like it is the wrong one. Increase my insulin, decrease my insulin, 100% juice, some food, letting my sugars run high, taking them down with short acting insulin…Honestly my inner doctor (and all that I have read) says I should stop using my insulin, because as long as I am giving it to my body my pancreas isn’t going to know to make it on its own. But then I don’t think Dr. Christopher or Schulze ever just took their patients off of insulin, It sounds more like it was a weaning off process. Not only that but I am frightened to let my blood sugars go. I worked so hard so many years to have excellent control and now I don’t have any. It is hard letting that control go and telling myself it is all part of the process. I wish there was more information out there about diabetics who cured themselves using these methods. I wish I could feel more positive about what I’m doing but at the moment I am not (I think I also thought that I would be some freak of nature and do such a good job that the diabetes would cure itself reasonably quickly, especially since I have always treated my body so well). I wish I had SOME KIND of result, some improvement somewhere that I could actually see so I would know I am on the right track. I guess that is why the expression goes “wish in one hand s*** in another and see which fills up quicker. Heh.
On some other notes...I'm finding less and less of a use of clothing and my husband is loving it...I've learned that I can't beat myself up if there are days where I just don't feel up to pushing myself 100% and not do a couple of things (for my mental health). I've also learned it is probably going to be very beneficial in the long run to let myself have some raw/vegan food on occasion, I think I will be able to go longer if I let myself eat a little here and there. I think if I go to the movies with my hub again I'm going to try to make this dehydrated cauliflower popcorn recipe I found cause when we went last time all I could think about was the popcorn smell in the theater and how much I wanted it.

In conclusion…Still doing it but frusterated as hell. Confused. Angry and I know I shouldn’t be angry at the process , I should love it or nurture it because that will help it work better, but hey, I’m human.
April
 

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