Date:   5/18/2010 2:33:43 PM ( 14 y ago)
Hits:   49,382
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1624522

Some of this seems a bit excessive, written from a stance of extreme paranoia and judgment.
HOWEVER, if this is all true, then everybody here has had my relationship issues wrong from the start. It would appear that it is not my partner who is NPD. If this is all true, I am the NPD or S. It is possible that we both are; however, the inner honesty that I can share with myself seems to be what has kept me justifying HIS behavior because I know deep down that I am so highly manipulative and definitely to blame for a majority of these problems.
It is not that he is so well-defined in this behavior that he has me pressed against a wall blaming myself, thinking that I am the problem, that he is in complete control this way; it is that I know deep down inside that I have done far worse than he, in a psychological manner. The simple truth to it is that he does stupid things and gets caught (perhaps due to my predatory instinct and constant awareness and reading of others) whereas I manipulate so many other people and falsify mere identities that he has absolutely no idea how much I am fully responsible for things that he would never even guess that I had anything to do with, or even any knowledge of.

Then again, I think I knew this all along. Sometimes playing the victim just relieves a bit of the guilt that I should feel but do not consciously acknowledge.
 

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