(At least, in my opinion!)
~
I finally had to get past this certain point of vanity in my appearance. Weighing only 113 pounds (51.26 kg, 8.07st) and being a size 5 at my wedding was all part of my own vanity. I was extremely shy, but I still wanted to "look good" - not only for my new husband, but for others (and the camera) as well. What woman wouldn't?
Unfortunately, I also love to eat. Winter is worst for me. I have always loved those sweets, but I also go after those breads and fats when the cravings strike. I could handle it all back when I was a newlywed.
That was over 30 years ago when I was 20, but I was also sick - a lot. Being sick for many of the past 30 years also meant tremendous fluctuations in weight. Getting older, and not being very health-conscious, my weight slowly and gradually increased; I finally topped the scales, hitting my heaviest at 205 pounds (93 kg, 14.64 st). At 5'5" (165 cm) that meant being a size 20 or plus.
Flashing forward to present day, and supplementing Iodine now for over three years, I must say that some drastic changes have occurred: not only concerning my health - which has been quite-satisfyingly-dramatic-thank-you-very-much (as my previous posts have pointed out) - but also concerning my body structure - and I'm wondering what other unknown adjectives can be thrown into this equation.
Now, we women don't typically like to go around giving out our weight and age (I'm 53, btw), but maybe some of us need to start - if for no other reason than to point out to other women - HEY, we've been (and are continuing to be) misled on this, also !
Weaker sex? Where did that start? Yes, it's true we have more fat stores than men. But is this natural? I do believe that this is true - but only to a certain degree; I mean, we do carry the babies, and we should have more fat in reserve. As a woman, I like having curves, and I also like it that men are stronger. We are more prone to outwardly show our emotional side, and the men - their physical.
But physically, exactly how weak should we be? This is what I'm wondering. WHY, you ask? Well, it comes back to what I have personally seen in my own bodily structure.
I feel it's necessary to point something out now, while I am still considered to be "drastically overweight". You see, I now weigh 190 pounds (86.2kg, 13.57st). Yep. 190. The last time I weighed this much I could barely squeeze into my size 18 pants, much less zip and button them. Do I still want to be a size 8? You betcha. And I am working toward that goal.
Before I get there, however, I wish to teach something here - at the very least get your heads to thinking. We have been denied Iodine for so long now, we women have not only gotten sicker, but we have become bloated and weak and pathetic little whiner/complainers. Putting all that aside, we still desire to look good when we're b!#ching you men out! We're still so vain-minded (me included) that, in spite of all our afflictions, we still don't want to go around looking bad. So, we tolerate way too much from the medical community, as long as it doesn't adversely affect our appearance. And, this includes believing the hype of exactly what we "should" weigh! I mean, come on, are we to truly believe what some medical insurance company says concerning "proper weight" for our height and our age? Again -
more False Evidence Appearing Real, continually fed to us women to keep us in line and paying the box office prices.
sigh
I decided to get these thoughts out, as scrambled as they are, to make you rethink a few things. Being one who believes the bible (but not interpreting it as most) I've often wondered about this: (Genesis 2:18) And the Lord God said it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. (Shortly after that it explains how that help should be female.)
Humans (in our "so-called" wisdom) put the words "help" and "meet" together to form the interpretation: "helpmate". Well, yes, that works - but when you look back in the day the KJV was translated into English, you must also look at the definition of "meet" back then. What the sentence is saying here, is: "I will make him an [aide] [suitable] for him."
OK, so exactly when did we women become the "weaker" sex? This is where I have come to a point where I now wonder just how long man has been messing with women's heads. IF we women should be suitable helpers to men, shouldn't we be stronger than we are at present? Shouldn't we have more muscle? And shouldn't we have more muscle naturally, without having to lift weights? (As do lady body-builders.)
You see, I now weigh 190, but having lost and gained weight many times, I have seen 190 before. I still own the same pants from that last time I weighed 190 - before Iodine supplementation. (For you men who may be unaware, most of us women keep this drawer - you know the one girls, the one where we keep our "skinny" jeans and our "fat" jeans - "just in case" - lol.) I could not zip and buckle the pants in the photos below before iodine. Even if I could, my stomach would pour over the buckle and I wouldn't be able to breathe. The jean's thigh part squeezed my own so tightly it was uncomfortable. As you can see, they are baggy in the thigh area. I had no waist to speak of, and the only definition you could ascribe to my shape was "big-bottomed pear"! Hubby had the endearing term of "banjo-butt" for me in those days. (I can laugh about it now.)
The tops I decided to wear in the below are also something I could never wear before iodine. Now, I am still not quite prepared to wear them locally because I would still like to be a size 8; yes, I still have that silly stigma. ("All is vanity"). lol
However, the last time I weighed 190 I had no waist to speak of! No shoulder definition. Huge bags under my arms. The last time I looked like the below photos was when I weighed in around 150-155 lbs (11 st, 70 kg) ...still "overweight", yes. But now? At 190? Wow, definitely no longer as "big-bottomed" a pear as the last time. I recently asked my mother-in-law to guess my weight. (Photos can be misleading, and I wanted more confirmation.) When she confirmed what I knew from my own history, I knew I had to report to curezone. She guessed 150. When I told her I weighed in at 190, her jaw dropped. She shook her head and said my scales must be wrong. She just couldn't believe it. I insisted I used a professional scale. (Not my own, which I know is faulty.)
That's what iodine is doing. It breaks down the fat and builds muscle.
Muscle is more dense than fat, therefore, takes up less space!
Pound for pound, more muscle may create a heavier you, but it will also make you stronger, and it will create a "meaner and leaner" you!
As many of you know, I have been overeating this past winter, and not exercising. I am not proud of that, and I am not endorsing it. But this point needs to be made now - (before I'm all skinny and gorgeous again) - LOL.
When I think about this ever-nearing summer, and being able to get out, and walk like I used to (now that my back, hip, and knee issues have resolved) - I get really excited about how this is all going to pan out for my ever-present vanity.
You see, I have been getting more and more depressed about my gaining of weight. No matter how hard I tried, how hard I tried to will myself into "eating better", my own will-power was just plain gone. But God always knows what He's doing. (And I am one to actually want His will to supercede my own.) I didn't understand why, when I've done raw for extended periods of time, gone on fasts, etc, that I just couldn't pony-up the will-power.
Nope - had just another lesson to put out there - and when I ask Him to use me, well, it means my body too.
