Date:   11/16/2009 11:46:53 PM ( 16 y ago)
Hits:   1,438
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1525008

If ONLY I could give you an hour by hour - day by day accounting of what has happened in the last few weeks! If you could read it all (if you could find the time! lol), you'd k-n-o-w know why the forum is going to be without me for another "couple-three weeks"...but I can't give you that (it'd take a day's worth of hours to write it all out) :( But I can tell you the basics.

A few days after I shut down the forum (and we took a couple of days to clean/replace furnace filters, vents, put up plastic on the windows and get this lil' house ready for winter), the Depression & adrenal distress I was dealing with seemed to worsen substantially (and I do mean substantially! grrrr). And of course, I continued to get "emergency help me please" emails & PMs...many of which I still haven't found the time to respond to.

It just didn't make sense at ALL, because I was doing (and doubling/tripling) most everything I've ever done before that always worked in the past. Day by day, I kept feeling more and more stress & despair, until finally I was actually starting to feel suicidal...and Rocky was (very uncharacteristically) totally off HIS game, too. Neither of us seemed to be able to get anything done, but it seemed like we were running like rats in a wheel as fast & hard as we could.

Long story short, Rocky went out to check the LP gas tank (which had been at about 42% full). It should have dropped to around 38%...but it was at FIFTEEN PERCENT! We had a leak for sure, but where? It was found in our basement (apparently we'd jarred something loose when moving all the heavy rocks that were piled around the furnace)...and for 3 weeks we'd been breathing in vast amounts of LP gas!!!

Well, of course, we were thrilled to find out what had happened (and why we were about ready to find a copy of "Japanese Suicide Rituals for Dummies", lol) but that doesn't give me back those three weeks (along with everything that was supposed to be done) :::sigh::: So, even though it would be VERY easy to feel even more stressed than I was before, I'm strengthening & "grounding" daily...praying/meditating and trying to learn & understand how to be able to give everyone the individual attention they deserve, yet be able to be effective (and NOT stressed!). And I'm finally getting it (it's what y'all have been telling me for months!) - I have GOT to take care of (and take time for) ME! No matter if I have a weeks worth of typing to do everyday, I MUST take at least an hour to relax, ground, enjoy life, commune with God/nature (and get in that barefootin'!!).

I just kept thinking that because I had a "calling" that I would somehow be transformed into SuperWoman/Healer, and that the natural laws of health & healing (and the stress of the responsibility, and the lack of time, and the "basics", and the etc., etc., etc....) somehow must not apply to Unyquity. It COULDN'T! I didn't have the time for it to apply to me!! I honestly felt like I'd been set-up and abandoned :(


All I had to do was look at Jesus & Gandhi...(with their examples & admonitions for fasting and quiet/alone time, "being still", and allowing their spirits their God within to be strengthened and restored daily)...to realize in order to stay connected and get the strength I need, I **must** take time to be silent and commune with THE spirit of God & nature). I wasn't abandoned, I'd walked (no, run!) away from the very SOURCE of the strength & power of the Universe...thinking that selflessness & dedication was "enough". DUH ME! duh Duh DUH, uny, Uny, UNY! You're ALWAYS preachin'..."go to the GREATS - go to the greatest healers that were able to heal everything...don't rely on yourself, don't rely on "science"...rely upon what WORKS and has been PROVEN to work".

So please accept my sincerest of apologies for another delay (and for being SO slow to "get it" :::sigh again:::). And please (lol) feel free to say "I told you so"!

Healthiest of blessings,

Uny & Rocky
 

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