Date:   10/30/2009 1:40:47 PM ( 15 y ago)
Hits:   7,367
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1515796

Ok here goes, I have been in the field of Behavior disorder for 26 years. The first thing you may have a strong willed child, but you need to be the adult in the situation. You need to get a handle on this very quick.

The problem is,it will not be a quick fix and it is going to take all of the strength and patience you have at times.

If she is old enough to do the behavior she is old enough to understand (in basic terms) she has to be responsible for her actions.

To be rude and unkind is unexceptable. When she is told no by you, it means no. If she doesn't except this than there will be consequences.

Remember it is not going to be easy. It is not going to be fun. No time for you to wimp out. She is at stake and
so is your family.

You need to keep rules simple and to the point no more than 3-5 at one time. Work on these and reach that goal.

She needs lots of love and attention along with it.

First of all explain once again how she can not be rude or mean to the other kids. If she does she is going to loose something she likes to do or a favorite toy or doll etc.

Explain how when you tell her no that is the final answer and no arguing. Don't argue with her. State the rule to her and tell her what she is loosing. Put it up, hide it out of site. Not to be given back 10 minutes later.

If she gets on a chair and tries to get a cookie anyway, remove her from the chair and state I told you no, that's what I meant. This won't be fun. She will probably throw a trantrum. Let her, ignore her. Trantrums are of no value
if you haven't got an audience.

Go to the other room

Refuse to play her game! It is a game, she has gotten by with these behaviors before and thinks she can continue to
do them.

Use common sense-if she gets something out she picks it up. If she refuses, take her hand and help her pick it up.

She may be screaming and yelling but it will cease. May take a month or two.

If it was my kids I'd paddled there behind and it would of been done with. I know people don't believe in stuff like that anymore. I didn't say beat, I said paddle. Yes, I was beat as a kid I've been through it all. Screamed and yelled at the whole ball of wax.

I'm talking hand on bottom.

Since you don't feel comfortable doing that that is why we go the take away routine.

Putting her in time out in a room is fine-but remember probably all her toys are in her room. I don't believe breaking things is exceptable.
She needs you being constant. If you give in you've lost.

Training up a child with love and discipline is not easy. In your case better now than try after you have lost her.

If she is like you explained, she could be a disaster waiting to happen for the new baby. You can do this. You are the adult not her best friend, you are her mother,you owe this to her.

Rememeber she is not the boss, you are! You have got to put on your adult face.

If you aren't willing to do this. Maybe you need to medicate her which I think is ridiculas,but yes it's easy.

I'm not being mean, I'm not saying your lax, I'm just giving you ideas that work. Yes, it is work and won't be fun, but the rewards are worth it.
 

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