sick and tired-intractable skin condition by #110838 ..... Suicide Confessions Forum
Date: 6/19/2009 10:14:02 AM ( 14 years ago ago)
I have suffered for every second of every minute of every day for over 10 years with a terrible skin condition that has left me permanently disfigured, in terrible physical pain, and emotionally destroyed.
I have widespread infections over my entire body skin that peels and flakes off ever square inch of skin that I have. My face is covered with Seborrhea and Acne and it is full of deep scarring. My hair falls out in clumps, is covered in sebacious cysts and the most severe dandruff you could ever imagine.
Im 29 years old and I have never been in a relationship. I'm totally humiliated every moment of the day. I look like a dying aids patient. My shoulders, back, chest, arms are covered with infection, boils, scars, scabs, and thick peeling and scabbing skin.
My face is one giant sheet of dead skin that cannot be removed.
I dropped out of college, have no job, no friends anymore, no prospects, no hope of anything.
I have spent every cent and every second of the last decade trying everything to heal the skin from raw foods, juicing, cleansing, fasting, vitamins, supplements, herbs, meditation, kinesiology, osteopathy, accupuncture, hypnosis, EFT, etc, etc.
I have gone for months on a totally raw vegetarian diet with no change. I make fresh vegetable juices that have never helped me.
I have been to well over 25 naturopathic and alternative practitioners but all of them have failed to figure out what is wrong with me. I have had numerous alternative docs tell me that this is incurable and that I will just have to learn to live with it- that it is genetic.
I've tried to think myself well- I read "The Biology of Belief" and "The Emotion Code" and other books that tell you that you can heal yourself by believing it, but my convincing myself that I would get well has never made me well.
I'm sick of being in terrible burning and itching pain every moment of the day. I'd rather have no life than to be stuck in a life of constant misery.
Nonexistence wasn't too bad before I was born, so I am ready to be eternally non-existent. This life didn't work.
Sometimes I think that there is no other choice. Over 10 years spending every moment researching, trying treatments, going to see specialists with borrowed money. Every year goes by and the condition rages on the same as ever.
Holistic healing has failed me.
Alternative medicine has failed me.
Hope has failed me.
Faith has failed me.
Life has failed me.
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