Date:   6/7/2009 6:52:04 AM ( 15 y ago)
Hits:   4,110
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1434042

Is it true that we usually hate people that remind us of ourselves? I need some input and advice here.

I live in a flat and share the place with 2 more people. There a new member, let’s call her Vic. The moment I saw her, there was a rage of jealousy inside me, burning. She’s a resident from out of town, the town I used to live in. She’s about my age, driving a brand new car and have the same habits as mine (shopping, exotic vacations, weekend getaways, parties etc). Vic was just a portrait of me, 2 YEARS AGO. Most of the days she will arrive home carrying latest fashion shopping bags, exotic takeaway food boxes from trendy restaurants/delis, organic items, gourmet chocolate/cookies. That’s so typically me, 2 years ago. Vic’s posture is similar to mine, similar taste, similar way of talking, and similar interest. She described herself as a spoiled youngest child of a middle upper class family. Her parents provide her with a car and plenty of pocket money besides the salary she receive from her job at an office. And for all those reasons, I envy her and hate her very much.

My situation 2 years ago:
I was a uni student and MISTRESS to a married man. I have excellent financial condition, have a new car, rent an apartment out of town, and I frequently travel to be with him (we live in different towns). We go on exotic vacations, weekend getaways, shopping trips, and my days are filled with branded gifts, eating at trendy restaurants, upscale clubs, etc (all paid by him). It was like a dream. Then we separated. I fell in love with a guy my age (who now become my fiancée) and have a committed relationship now.

My situation now:
I don’t own a car (due to a financial decision I made), still sudy (final year), have slight lower income , less weekend getaways, less vacations, and much less partying. I do have a boyfriend, a serious relationship and he’s in a financial mess now. I helped him with his debts. I lend him my car money, and he paid me back in installments. My boyfriend (now fiancée) has USD 15,000 debt and I helped him financially. He has paid me back in installments. We can’t eat at trendy restaurants, go to exotic holidays, etc because his financial condition can’t afford that all. Or sometimes if we go on a holiday/getaway, then I will pay half of the costs because he really can’t afford to treat me.

My questions:
1. I can’t stand Vic. Because she reminds me so much of myself, 2 years ago. Except the mistress part. Each time I see her, with the shopping bags and branded items, I just can’t accept the fact that my situation has changed. Should I move from this flat and change my environment so I don’t have to see her anymore?
2. Sometimes I feel that Vic’s life should’ve been mine! I feel things are so unfair. Is this normal?
3. How can I accept the fact that things are different and more modest now?
4. I plan to work harder and earn more money to get back to my former financial state again, but still have my boyfriend with me, because I love him very much. Any advice to motivate me?
Any suggestion, inputs, advice are welcome. I need some uplifting, motivating words to deal with this. I hate this jealousy. I hate feeling this way,

GB

 

<< Return to the standard message view

fetched in 0.02 sec, referred by http://www.curezone.org/forums/fmp.asp?i=1434042