Date:   4/28/2009 7:17:07 AM ( 15 years ago ago)
Hits:   1,980
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1407352

'Top of the mornin', Vernal!

I'm sorry to complain, and I know I should be grateful since I'm making progress in about one month's time.There's no need to apologize for seeking help in healing!  And healing our emotions and our "personalities" is JUST as important as healing our physical bodies.  We're trinity beings (body, soul/mind/personality, spirit) - we must honor & heal ALL of ourselves, not just part of ourselves :) I am grateful some of the time and other times I feel sorry for myself a little.A "little" pity party every now and then is something we all expect/encounter (maybe even enjoy :::grin:::), eh? Perhaps my biggest problem in life is loneliness. This has led to a big part of my depression and anxiety, and even my adrenal fatigue because feeling lonely would cause me to abuse myself with food or even just staying up online when I should have been sleeping.Cool deal - you know what "it" is...loneliness can be healed, just like cancer or anything else!  YAY  :::insert typical disclaimer here...IF you're willing to do what it takes!:::: (dontcha just hate that disclaimer sometimes!) In doing the program now, and especially implementing things which make me feel more alive(translation: hot/cold showers) it brings up a lot of feelings, such as feeling alive which can be great, and also painful feelings.GREAT! emotional "flow" is JUST as essential to our healing as physical flow. It also points out, sometimes vividly, how depressed I really have been for a long time, and how I have only been existing and not living. I knew that for a long time but its just that when you gulp hot pepper and come out of a cold shower the feelings are more intense, the realizations more in your face.Yes indeedy, that's what it's all about - bringing all the "owies" to the surface, detoxing from their poisonous selves, and then getting down to healing, changing and restoring.
Some days I wonder how I can keep going, doing more cleanses, fasting, taking on more challenges of the IP program when I feel so devoid of someone to be close to and share my life with. Ahhh yes, the great 'rock & hard place'.  If I don't do all these emotionally & physically healing protocols, no one will be my partner...but it seems impossible to do them without a partner.  Okee-dokee Vernal, because of love & truth & healing, I'm going to remind you this first.  Dr. Schulze says, "After decades of healing work in the my clinic, the one thing that is for sure? Sympathy never healed ONE person".  So I don't want you to think I don't understand (and that I haven't been lonely or don't know how "empty & awful" it feels...I just no for sure that throwing a big ole sympathy blanket your way won't help you one little bit.  Let's (all) get to work on HEALING ourselves emotionally :)  It gets hard in practical ways, such as always juicing alone and cleaning up and shopping and planning the program. All that is surely true...and it's also true that "perspective" is a good thing.  It would be harder to heal if you couldn't afford to BE juicing; it would be harder to heal if you were the lady in CA that can't ingest anything by mouth; it would be MUCH harder to be in 'Wings's shoes and barely be able to lift a glass or get up ONE stair while homeschooling & feeding 4 children (and dealing with an extremely non-supportive spouse) AND doing all your juicing, shopping, planning and cleaning up alone, TOO. My brain fog has made me forget to take things, one day I left my place with a container to bring IF#2 with me and then later realized I had forgotten to actually put the powder in the container.Lol, I've done things like that!  I just spent over 45 minutes frustrating/working on a high enema, called Rocky in to help (which I don't particually care to do), and after HIM working with me 15 minutes (holding the back higher, trying to adjust the tubing so the stupid water would flow) - it became apparent that I'd forgotten to run the water down the tubing before I inserted the tubing.  Dude! :) At least you didn't didn't forget your IF#2 with your naked butt in the air and a tube hanging out!! :) Being alone and struggling with the work of it, which feels overwhelming at times, is frustrating because I know that if I had help I could be doing the program better and progressing faster. Vernal, it's true - sometimes the 'work of it' IS overwhelming & frustrating (and it's natural to be overwhelmed and frustrated - and to post for support)....but what really matters?  Are you going to DO it?!  Are you going to choose LIFE?!   Yes!!!  Yes you ARE doing it!  And yes you ARE choosing "life".  And you've come a LONG way already...and I (nor anybody else), is going to let you fall back into old "toxic" habits, patterns and mindsets!  The way out? FORWARD!  Don't let the dimness of the tunnel take away from the brilliancy of the end result.  Don't you do it!!  Forward into the healing or backward into the dimness - that's your choice.  I know you've made the right choice, and I know you can do it!!!  But the real hurt is just being alone and missing the main thing that life is about--sharing and loving. You know, I agree...sharing and loving is VITAL to my existence.  But I didn't always have someone to share and love with either.  I was married from 18-28 to a man I adored...I sacrificed my colleged education for him (he was/is a true genius). and after moving to a distant state away from everyone I knew and loved...he came out of the closet and left me....in 1988 with over $120,000 of debt (and no degree).  I felt like my entire world was like a card that someone had sent me...the cover had a picture of the dawn, and it said on the front: "I know things are really bad & lonely for you now, and your world is in a shambles.  But remember, it's always darkest right before....(open the card) ...IT'S PITCH BLACK!" :( :( :(  And it was pitch black for a long time...UNTIL I decided to do something about it, and did it. So this also makes me miss out of much of the joy of life. Yes, it is "anti joyous" to be lonely.  That's a fact for sure.  What counts is...what are you going to DO to heal it? I sure hope everybody that reads this, suggests ways for you to "heal loneliness" - because there are many.  And when you respond to this post, I ask you to post FIVE things you can do to start reaching out to others and bringing them into your world, so you can have friends and find the loving mate you deserve. My first suggestion: Be a "Big Brother" - not only will you help a child in FAR worse condition than you, that will make you feel SO worthy and improve your self-esteem SO much.  We gals really don't care so much about looks - but we care VERY much about "depth" (which you have in abundance); compassion (another fantastic attribute you offer constantly); that he will respect us (obviously, you've got that virtue!)... and we need to KNOW that he can keep us safe and protected.  To heal your 'lack of a mate' loneliness, develop the attributes to prove to a woman that you CAN keep her safe & protected...'just like 'wings is painstakingly beating down ALL adversity and developing her muscles.  You can do it - yes you can. I shouldn't dwell on all this because I know there are others with worse physical illnesses and challenges. But since this is a huge and all-encompassing part of my healing challenge I can't help but talk about it.Talking about it good, just be sure not to ruminate in it :)  Instead, talk about it; identify it, and get to work fixing it. I know that much of my state of dis-ease is that I have been alone for a long time, isolating myself and finding it hard to get what I need with others. If you & your doctor within know this to be true, then it's time to make a plan and work the plan. I do feel if I can stick with what I'm doing now that I will be better socially and give myself a chance of meeting someone. Cleansing and restoring your body, will go a LONG way toward healing and restoring your emotions.  But when there's long term emotional issues, they need to be focused upon as well.  Not long ago I felt embarrassed by my condition and didn't feel worthy of anyone. But I wonder how I can stick with it for a long time while living in the void I feel day after day.  By making yourself MORE WORTHY!  Start "giving" NOW.  Look into being a 'Big Brother' - look in the Yellow pages and find the closest nursing home, and GO there...and just hold hands and listen to those precious, wise souls share their stories. Find out where you can volunteer - Vernal, exactly the way you are right now...YOU ARE NEEDED!  There are hundreds of people that need you - they're just waiting for your support.  If you reach out to them, your own worthiness will grow a hundred fold...and you just might meet others that are doing the same :)
I actually placed an ad at craigslist looking for others doing Natural Healing or Shulze/Christopher, or anyone who wants to heal this way, etc. and not one person responded. I may try to start a support group for it in my local area, but its hard to find the energy to organize it and I will begin working soon.That's cool you did that, awesome even.  Good for you.  Too bad nobody responded - I think it's a victory that you tried!
Is anyone else lonely here? As far as doing EFT for depression or emotional stuff, I did that many times and seldom felt much effects. I am not that patient and some told me I might need to just keep doing it for several hours a day.EFT is VERY effective, but you have to do it diligently and you have to do it with 'insight'.  Soon I'll be do an EFT post to explain how to use this wonderful tool more effective.

I honestly feel that if I had someone in my life it would change a lot. :::insert game show "wrong answer buzzer sound here"::::  Reverse that  to: if you would change yourSELF alot, you would have someone in your life.  It's just like healing the physical.  Identify the disease (which you have); then learn what it takes to reverse the disease; then do what it takes.  I know you want to do this - I know you want to take charge & control of your future, and I know you CAN make it happen.  The solution and the healing are for YOU to find and accomplish - this is NEVER about somebody else, it's always about US.
On a practical note, is it feasible to do the cold sheet treatment by myself? Sculze says just grab someone from your local health food store and do it together. Doesn't seem so easy to find someone for that. You really need somebody with you in case you 'overheat', dehydrate or start having muscle spasms.
Sorry if this is a downer for anyone.It's not a downer to ME!  I think reaching out for help and 'laying it on the table' means you're looking for ways to heal!  That's a GOOD thing!!!! I have been flat the last few days, I stay in bed til 9:30, feeling too tired to get up sooner, even though I go to bed about 11 or 11:30. I have some good hours but do feel generally depressed, sometimes exhausted, and well-I know the loneliness affects every cell of my being.Vernal, one of THE hardest things in life to do, is to motivate ourselves when we don't have a purpose or a reason to motivate ourselves :(  It's true, when there's noone depending on us, it hard to find a reason to "move".  The answer - put yourself behind the 8 ball and get in a position where people WILL need you - and when you go there and help them, you WILL be motivated to help them again. What in the WORLD do you think motivates Rocky & me to keep trying to get all the foundational files done, when we keep getting more "buried" in back posts to answer every hour?  Somebody out there NEEDS us. But not one person on all of CZ (or none of the people I've helped) would have EVER needed me/us, if I hadn't made the first step and offered/committed to helping THEM.   But I will stay the course, and to anyone wondering about trying the Incurables program or any part of it I think it will help you tremendously.Good for you, Vernal! If you have a partner to do it with how can you not get started? ::::game show buzzer sound again::::  Honestly Vernal, it's generally the people that HAVE a partner that have the toughest time on the IP.  It is TRULY rare in this world, for someone to have married early and both people 'grow equally' out of 'The Matrix' and "sheepledom".  When you read the SYL manual and watch the videos, you'll hear Schulze talking CONTSTANTLY about getting rid of the negativity of a spouse that doesn't believe in natural healing.  Speaking of which...The rewards will be obvious very soon....the rewards WILL be more obvious more "very sooner" if you get started on the emotional aspects of your healing.  Vernal I need you.  In the next couple of days, I'm going to making a post that says I'm going to stop posting for 3-5 days.  I really need you to do something for me (I didn't know who I was going to ask, but now I know "it's you"):  Every day, I need you to watch one of the videos (free online) from Dr. Schulzes Natural Healing Crusade, and make a daily post about what was most impactful to you about it - and then encourage others to watch it and add what was most impactful for them to the thread.  I'm serious here, this is NOT a "pity assignment" (lol), me & the future of this forum really do need your help.

I'm going to get some sleep - I sure hope to see a "healing response" to my request when I wake up - that'd bring a HUGE smile to MY day :) 

Unyquity 

P.S. And oh yes, just wait'll you get to the liver flushing - you'll purge a boatload of emotional junk!!

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