Date:   4/19/2009 11:05:09 PM ( 16 y ago)
Hits:   4,815
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1400735

I think...

"Oh gosh, 773813, if you are WAITING to remember, how will you ever be sure it is NOT your imagination?!"


Why wouldn't you be glad that you have no memories of it, and get on with exploring your real life?


Of course your current relationships are skewed!

...You are hanging back, waiting for some 'event' to be remembered.


When I was in my twenties I had a dream vision of a huge cigarette that was incredibly sensual.

That was it, just a picture of a whole large cigarette, in front of me.

The next day I closeted myself in the staff washroom, and lit one...expecting the smoke to make me feel sexy.

It didn't...but you know what was begun, don't you?!


When I was little I heard some kids chanting..."Sam, Sam, you dirty old man...You washed your face in a frying pan."

It was a meaningless rhyme.

However, I had never heard it before...although I had some idea of what was a 'dirty old man'. I felt somewhat afraid hearing kids in the school washroom chanting this, and laughing.

So, I asked them if it was a 'dirty' song. They laughed at me, and went on their way.

I felt awful. That frying pan haunted me for a while...until I realized it meant nothing.

You could say I 'matured' a little over that rhyme.


ANYTHING can be attached to anything...especially sexuality.


The other night I saw some of the story of a man who attacked women, just to steal their underwear.

Then he'd take the slips, bras, and panties home, and put them on...and photograph himself.

After a while he began killing the women, and raping them, in whatever order, before stealing their underwear.

What's so sexy about that? But HE thought it was sexy, for some reason, else he wouldn't have done it.

And, he had a wife in this house filled with strangers' underthings.

It's impossible to know what SHE was thinking.


ANYTHING, absolutely anything can create a picture in a young and vulnerable mind.

Our happiness, however, depends on how we handle it, as the years go by.


If you are 37, and you haven't remembered any 'incident', yet, thank your lucky stars! There are millions of people who'd happily trade places with you!

You see, those kinds of 'incidents' are nearly impossible to forget.

There is at least one whole industry created entirely on the remembering. Psychiatrists are paid big bucks just for a few moments of forgetting...never mind the drug industries, legal and illegal.

The ONLY thing that works, to help a person 'forget', or adjust their thinking/feeling, in my opinion, is maturing...putting ones thoughts in order.



Most people don't realize they CAN adjust their own thinking and feeling.

Most people must let decades pass before they see that the things they've been hanging onto, living, aren't real at all.


I know, I know, it galls a person to realize that their tormenters might have been right all along.

Do you have any idea what my mother has said to me, done to me, about smoking, all these years?


It is all so ridiculous that I could burst out laughing.


So, what can I, could I have done about it, at any time?

Well, one thing would be to take off.

Refuse to play the game, to dance the family dance, for a while...until it changes.


I'll bet there were millions of soldiers, over the centuries, who came home from war, to find that their dear ones had NO idea of what they went through.

That, however real their experiences were, people at home couldn't relate to the soldiers' memories...and maybe even their changed belief systems.

We are all like that, to some degree or another. We likely live our inside lives alone...and likely can't fully describe what is happening inside of us...maybe never will.


But, what if we don't have to? What if we can adjust what is important to us, and develop relationships out of the ordinary?


A man and a woman meet, each having their own thoughts, feelings, and ideas on life.

Together they develop a third point-of-view...perhaps even a whole new family.

All it takes is openness...a wish to create something better...together.

Openness, willingness, IS maturity.

Feels a bit strange at first, and we could get stung, but so can everyone else.

I wouldn't give up my willingness for all the tea in China.

Yet, I am as self-protective as anyone. I'm just not as 'stuck' as I was when I was young.

Openness has brought me opportunities I had never dreamed possible.

You'll see. It's only a matter of when.

My best, 773813.

Enjoy!

Fledgling
 

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