Date:   1/21/2004 6:07:14 PM ( 20 y ago)
Hits:   4,899
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=138271

Thank you so much Tracey, Wow, you're good.


You're eager to hear which career path I've chosen....ya, me too! That's part of the problem. I have been working endlessly toward my Medical Career, to be an MD, which I planned to use in a creative way to expose the lies of pharmacology and drugs. They have such a strong lobby in this country because they are just so rich. You need to have a good degree to stand up to them. I hoped that I could use ancient therapies, like Andreas Moritz , and bring it main stream. That was my plan. After entering an Ivy League Med School, I was already so ill, and became very sick and took a leave of absense. I questioned if the great stress and rigidity of school was killing me. Yes, I am very serious, critical, hard on myself, etc... Andreas says the things we fear most become true. I was afraid of losing my career I guess. I had to take a medical leave from school.

The thing I love and dream about often times when I am a lone is Singing, which you mentioned in the reading as a career for me. As a child and teenager I was semi-famous in my town because I sang so often, in talent shows, plays, and church on Sundays. All the adults assumed that I would major in music and become professional. I did not though. My family really thought it was a "waste" of my intelligence and too risky. Besides, no one has the same calling, so they could not see it as my calling because its not thier's. I REALIZED just a few weeks ago that I had a problem when I told my Mom I would want my kids (Not that I have any, just hypothetical) to be singers or musicians. I said to myself, Uh Oh, that's my own inner desire talking.

I have not been creative in many years so the urges are strong. Its haunting me. I do not want to give up all that worked for. I do not want to choose either one, I want both. Probably impossible. I am still not well yet either, so that's a limiting factor.

I prayed to God last night for a sign. I am scheduled to go back to school next year and studying for boards now. The only answer I got was I spilled a glass of water in the middle of the night last night. Also I got your post this morning. I am reading Andreas' book freedom from judgement. I am so judgemental. It just seems like such a big risk to change careers and not know anyone at all in the music business or anything. This is frustrating.

Thanks again,
Gracey
 

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