Date:   3/5/2009 2:19:12 PM ( 16 y ago)
Hits:   4,955
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1369360

I got a pap this past November which came back abnormal. The doctor did an HPV test that came back positive. After being told "You're young (21), it probably is mild and will go away on it's own" the results from my colposcopy came back severe. I switched doctors because I didn't like her attitude towards it. I was scheduled to get a Leep but my sister had one and her doctor scraped away too much of her cervix resulting in a miscarriage. She tried again and her pregnancy was very hard. Her cervix had to be sewn shut and she was on bed rest throughout the whole pregnancy. I was afraid of that happening to me and I want one more child (I have a two year old and am married) so I chose to get pregnant first instead of getting the leep (which I will get after I have my baby in September).

My new doctor looked at my colposcopy results and wants to do another one (without the biopsy unless things look really bad). Now I feel stupid getting pregnant before getting my leep. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy that I am having another child, but I'm afraid now that putting off getting this taken care of will only make it worse.

The thing that really is driving me crazy is that I was a virgin until I was with my husband when I was 18. No, he wasn't a virgin but I don't understand how it could have gotten so severe in just a few years (I don't have warts, just the virus on my cervix). I never did anything with anyone before him and all my paps until the past one came out fine. I talked to the nurse at my doctors yesterday practically in tears yesterday and she told me to try to not to worry about it. When I told her about me not being with anyone until a few years ago and that I don't understand how it can be severe at my age, she told me I could have picked it up anywhere and it has been dormant for years (which is why it's severe). That stress could have potentially triggered it but really they don't know. The other doctor I went to told me that she had virgins with their hymens still intact have it.

I'm also upset because my grandfather just died of cancer. Obviously not cervical, but it was preventable prostate cancer. Because he didn't get regular check ups, they didn't know about it until it was too late. I know that we still caught it early, but I'm afraid because I put it off getting it taken care of that it could turn into cancer. I also know that worrying about it so much can potentially make it worse but I feel very alone. The only person who knows about it is my husband because I'm embarrassed to tell anyone else. I just feel dirty and gross and like there is some foreign, evil thing in me that I can't get out.


 

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