Date:   2/9/2009 5:55:21 PM ( 15 y ago)
Hits:   4,227
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1353494

What Makes for a Good Marriage? - A Series of Class Acts

• Living by our highest standards – this needs no explanation. The higest standards of conduct are found in the marriage vows we recited in front of hundreds of witnesses. Loyalty and fidelity are commodities not to be taken lightly. They form the foundation of a good marriage. Just because you go through a boring phase in your relationship doesn’t mean you can go around and carry on extra-marital affairs;

• Maintaining dignity and grace under pressure – marriage is not a walk in the park – not by a long shot. There will be problems, the traditional ups and downs, arguments over the most domestic of domestic issues. This can add to the pressure of the union. If we can deal with emotional chaos intelligently we become a class act. One partner has to remain calm to give the other person hope that things will be all right. As this complementary role becomes a habit, it is easier to do in the later years.

• Focusing and improving the behavior of the other – by being a role model, your spouse will naturally follow your example and as Canfield says, your spouse will begin acting at a level that surprises both themselves and others.

• Operating from a larger, inclusive perspective – it’s not the credit card bill or the utility bill that is the culprit. Bills are just the outcomes of lifestyles. If one spouse is a big spender and the other is not, this is good reason for some dialoguing. Our spouses have certain traits that repeatedly annoy us. Instead of walking away in frustration, we take on a class act and open the door of opportunity for some honest communication.

• Increasing the quality of every experience – a class act is said to have occurred when husbands and wives have the ability to transform insignificant situations into enjoyable, stimulating and memorable ones. It’s the “stirring the oatmeal” principle all over again. We make the effort to find delight in the ordinariness of life – it’s the only way we learn to appreciate what we have instead of trying to emulate the exciting lifestyles of others.

• Avoiding meaness, pettiness and vulgarity – the saying “familiarity breeds contempt” is best illustrated in a marriage. As we get to know our partners more, we are sometimes tempted to belittle them, forgetting that feelings are fragile, and the wrong words could leave a permanent sting. Class acts have no room for pettiness or vulgarity.

What Makes for a Good Marriage - Back to Basics

We often find enchantment in new concepts and fanciful words coined by marriage counselors and psychologists. The arena of marriage is brimming with advice and tips and how-to manuals. Yet, the answer to the question of what makes for a good marriage is often the old-fashioned one, the true and tested. By going back to the basics, we realize that men and women simply need to reinforce their commitment to each other through little gestures that count.

Ingredients for a good marriage run the slew of having a good humor, maintaining ties with the community, mutual encouragement, consistent planning for the future, and a natural curiosity in life. It is true that children and bills could make us somewhat jaded, but if we put that all aside and look to the future with enthusiasm, we turn into pillars of a good marriage.

Full link: http://www.professorshouse.com/family/relationships/what-makes-for-a-good-mar...


Food for thought...

MadArt (ist)

 

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