Date:   2/4/2009 8:24:28 PM ( 15 y ago)
Hits:   5,044
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1350261

Hi, thanks for this info. I will look it up. And it's a good way to sort things out as in a marriage are a lot of things which work and some things which don't work.
And when NPD is involved, the problem is sooo unconscious that you can't work it through. When my husband gets hostile, it happens out of the blue, vanishes without a trace and he behaves as if nothing has happened, no, he asks ME to apologize when I shout back at him outraged about his behaviour. I am soo drained, I just want to plan my life without him now. I actually need help with practical things, like what to do first. I want to buy my own house. I want a divorce. We need to sell our beautiful house with garden (the market is bad right now)
I will save money. I want out. He had 10 years to get to know what is happening and questioning himself. I have only the desire to be away from him. I never want to be devastated again by some unexpected hostility. I feel like a barren wasteland, an emaciated work donkey, like a slave. I think I need to go into the forum for people who need to know what they should do when they want to divorce a NPD. I want a new life. A totally new life. But thank you so much, every feedback is helpful. I am actually emotionally much better than before, where I would cry and be depressed. I guess I am in the process of dis-attachment and I have started to understand that my husband is not what he seems to be. I had a very interesting dream (a nightmare) about this stranger whom I mistook for my husband. But this stranger didn't love me, didn't have affection and looked different than him. Yet, I tried and tried to make him recognize me, to get a tender reaction from him. But he kept treating me like a stranger.
This dream is actually guiding me now because it shows my illusion. I feel quite in an unreal world because I have created an illusion and believed it for so long. I feel like living in a Jorge Luis Borges novel. I just started to read him. I found a chameleon in our garden which died the same day I found it. It felt to me like a sign. I can't say why and what, but I feel very strongly about this dying chameleon on the day before it all happened ( my husband turnt into the stranger of my dream!).
As a mad artist, you might understand me????




 

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