Date:   1/16/2009 2:31:46 PM ( 15 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1337055

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Hi Steve,

I know what you mean about people fasting for the wrong reasons, or what I think are the wrong reasons.  I think a lot of the posters on the WFF see it as an easy short term fix not thinking about the implications of what might happen after the fast if they don’t refeed properly.  I realize from reading posts that most people undertaking a fast don’t really do much research beforehand, they just walk into it blindly and that really bothers me.  I know that’s what the support forum is for but there has to be some kind of personal accountability for what that person is undertaking.  

I have my suspicions about people with low self-esteem issues it’s not that hard to see really, for those people I might post to them one time and try to bring up the fact that they have to love themselves regardless of their weight but to be truthful I don’t really think it makes much difference to them.  Those who suffer from low self-esteem and are overweight have it in their minds that getting skinny will help their situation and your right they have it in their minds that in order to be happy they have to fit into some kind of mold that has been put forth by someone they love.  The problem with that is they don’t realize that in order to be truly happy they first have to love themselves and be happy with the way they are.  So if the person I reply to responds with more questions regarding fasting and doesn’t address the low self-esteem issues I don’t post to them again.  There really is no way to help if they don’t first see the problem themselves and most of them don’t.  

The other point you raised is the ED issue and I know who your talking about with the hair loss, now I don’t really know if I’m right or not because I don’t know much about ED’s but I do think that people who suffer from an eating disorder also suffer from low self-esteem, I don’t see how a person could even have an ED without also having low self-esteem.  It’s all very sad but I sure don’t want to contribute to that persons ED by giving advice regarding fasting.  So the answer to the question you posed is, no I don’t think we should blindly support and encourage those who we suspect have an ED but like you said they are very good at hiding it.

I want to let you know just in case you don’t know that I am one of those people who saw your one year pictures with all the weight you lost and am encouraged by your story.  I was led to fasting by a friend of a friend and found your story here.  I do understand how you could feel guilty about possibly leading someone with an ED to fast because of your success but I want you to know that you also encourage people like me who don’t have an ED.  So you are in fact helping some people who are here for the right reasons.  The first thing that alerts me when someone posts is the all too common question of “how much weight can I lose and how fast can I lose it”.  Those are the ones who I hesitate to answer unless they give some kind of background in the way of an introduction of themselves to the forum.  

I think the bottom line is that there is no way we can stop those people from fasting but we can hold ourselves accountable not to post to them.  I don’t know how many members are aware of this issue, there has to be lots of us as this has come up before.  I’m not sure if most people really think about that before they respond to someone, I know I do.  It would be good if we could come up with a set of circumstances that could break the cycle but the truth of the matter is, if the person doesn’t want to be helped there is no way that we can help them. Remember all the uproar when we tried to help Lauray?  That turned out bad for everyone concerned.  I think the best we can do is try to discern from the person’s post what their intentions are and that can be really hard sometimes.  Maybe we could email that person who we might suspect of having an ED or low self-esteem away from the forum and see what kind of response we get.  What do you think?  If they want help they will respond and if they don’t we won’t post to them.  I don’t know what else to do.

Willow
 

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