Date:   1/14/2009 7:52:52 PM ( 15 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1335779

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hi.I am the original poster and have read through the posts.

Thanks for taking the time to respond. I can tell you that it is true that I have only once turned him down as he never wants to. There was one year in our marriage that I think it happened four times? And all four were by my initiation. Now I make more intiative and it only happens at mypersistence.And it is not a simple gesture or comment. I have to physically get him going.

I do only fantasize of him. You can believe it or not.

I have read the book Light His Fire and her other one Is There Sex After Kids? I have to do more. Yes me. I have done her examples like leaving him little notes focusing on the positives. He says "it is nice" but never does it back. I can only handle so much! I lay in bed and cry and night and he knows it. He says he is sorry but just does not have the physical drive. He did go to the dr and have tests done and all came out fine.

I have tried the ignoring approach. I have tried only communicating about the basics of life and the kids and not talking or nagging him about our problems. No change. but who wouldn't want a wife who only talks about the good things and not comlain? that be just so utopic. That is not fair to me that I have to be gooody too shoes all the time and not be myself.

I told him we needed to see a therapist and he agreed. We have gone once and nothing earth shattering yet but it is a start.

I am working on the pounds but honestly if my husband's problem with me is the post baby tummy then he is more shallow than I could have imagined. He has put on some weight too and not due to having babies and I have never let that change the way I am attracted to him.

Besides my tummy I am in good shape. I have had many men comment to me ( or through their wives and girlfriends or them telling my husband) that I look hot or voluptous. Honestly I do not think he has an issue with my appearance ( but still I tend to want to think it is only that.) I agree that is emotional issues but it is reassuring to know that I am not alone.
 

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