Date:   12/9/2008 1:51:18 PM ( 16 y ago)
Hits:   887
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1313623

...And wishing you well.

I just re-read your comment...

"If people from the outside could have seen what happened behind closed doors, there would have been fury of pissed off people after them."

Isn't that the truth?!!!


I've sometimes wished there had been someone to fight for us. ...Someone who would have recognized the signs and waded right in, charged, like a she-bear, to protect her cubs.


But, maybe someone did...and did it in a more effective way than I had ever dreamed possible.

I mean, I survived. And, I went on to become a pretty nice gal. I am proud of the person I became...proud of every person with whom I have 'connected' and helped, even in small ways...proud of friendships...proud of every smile I have received and given.


I think I was my own she-bear.

...First of all, in recognizing the difference between what was, and what I would have preferred.

...That let me go on to create better new relationships where I could.

And, that's nothing to sneeze at...I've done very, very well, especially considering what I started with.


Even just the *recognition* of something better, within me, within other people, was a bloomin' miracle.


That's what you've got, too...*recognition*.

So has everyone who survived...and everyone who ever hoped for a better life.

No matter the obstacle, if we can *see* a better objective, we are already well and strong...clear. Sadness hasn't won.


When I was alone, I made myself a little Christmas.

I am not a religious person, but I have a high regard for the Christmas spirit.

I got myself a tree, and put it in a tree-holder I had found at a garage sale. Someone gave me a string of lights and a few baubles and I strung popcorn for a garland. (That's difficult!)

I added the four Christmas cards I had received, and anything else I felt like...poems, wishes, names, sayings...even a slip I liked from a Chinese fortune cookie.

Then I made some small goodies, and I invited two acquaintances to coffee one evening.

Christmas morning I delivered some small homemade rememberences to a family I love, and went on to visit relatives who had invited me to dinner...no matter that they didn't understand me as I would have liked. I knew I was making my own holiday spirit, and that was enough.

If I hadn't had that invitation to dinner, I'd have found some open-hearted group sharing supper publicly. Probably I'd have contributed in some way...maybe by helping in the kitchen, or serving, hanging up coats...something.

I read somewhere about creating your own 'circle of warmth', and that idea has stuck with me ever since. A smile, interest in life and others, maybe just a listening ear, a nod of understanding, these are the things that make my 'circle of warmth', and I can take them wherever I go. They nourish me.

That's the secret, you see...the things you do for others, even small things (especially small things), you also do for yourself.


Just before one Christmas, I was making my way home from the bus stop, after work. It was a bitterly cold evening, piled high with snow.

Under a streetlamp, I saw a man emerge from a sidestreet, walking, and pushing two bicycles.

He wasn't dressed for the weather...bare hands, bare head, a trench coat, and ordinary leather shoes. A young father with bicycles for gifts, I was sure.

We didn't speak...he just made his way across the street, down the snowy steps into the thickly-covered school playground, and out of sight...never knowing that he had become my Christmas angel.

I'll never forget him.


I admire you, Virgo...you are well on your way to a fine and happy life. So is everyone who maintains hope for the future, no matter what has gone before.

You'll make it, you already have, by *seeing* possibilities.

My best, everyone...the happiest of holiday seasons to you.

Fledgling

 

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