Date:   11/30/2008 1:17:24 AM ( 16 y ago)
Hits:   9,591
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1307907

Think what you want. It won't change my life one bit. I don't hate myself at all, and you thinking that doesn't make it so. I never said I was instantly all better, I said I'd made the choice to not drink anymore, and I was over drinking and doing good. I said in lots of other posts that I'm excited to work (therapy, self examination, figuring out what exactly triggers me to want to drink in the first place and working on better ways of dealing with those things) on myself and become a better person. You obviously didn't read the entire thread. So lets see:

1)I've stated my mistakes and admitted to them (and I have not blamed anyone else for anything, I've taken full responsibility for my actions)

2)I've stated my decision to change the behavior that was causing the problem (drinking)

3)I've stated that I am now working on healing and doing the work to figure out the CAUSE of the problem in the first place

and despite all this, you still choose to think "The more you rant about how up you are, blaming others for your meltdown and waving your fist at your 'detractors' the more apparent it is you are spinning straight into another abyss."

^The more I "rant" about how up I am? lol.. sharing that I am doing better now is "ranting"?

Blaming others for my meltdown? I am not blaming anyone. I CHOSE every single action, every single guy I screwed, every single glass of wine I poured down my throat. Sure, I had triggers because of my situation, but it was my choice and I have stated that, clearly. I'm fully responsible, I own my actions.

As for spinning straight towards another abyss.. like I said, think what you want, it won't change my life one bit. I have no idea why it seems so impossible to you people that a person can *gasp* actually go through a bad time, learn something from it, and move on to better things. It almost seems you find my actions so disgusting (judgmental?) that you can't fathom me moving on without some severe consequences, like an STD. And I've been tested and assure you, I'm std free. I'm a big girl and even while wasted, I know how to wrap it up. ;)

Of course there are things wrong inside of me! Of course there are things to work on! The fact that I'm doing better doesn't mean I somehow am STOPPING doing any work on myself. I've been doing therapy my whole life. I'm always working to better myself. I have said that..

It seems people here are very angered by behavior such as mine and can't find it in themselves to wish a person well instead of suggesting that they are going to fail. It's not something I understand, but to each their own. I'm not going to let it stop my progress.
 

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