Date:   11/12/2008 8:58:48 PM ( 16 y ago)
Hits:   2,612
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1298516

In order to trust again, you need to take a break from dating. Take the time to get to know yourself better and do some soul searching. Find out what it is you want from life. I speak from experience. Before I met my husband, I found myself being attracted to some real jerks. My mother was narcissistic, verbally abusive and an alcoholic. Thus, I was attracted to some alcoholics and men who were verbally abusive. After being on the receiving end when it came to verbal abuse while growing up, you tend to think that you deserve it. Anyway, I reached the point where I didn't want to go out with any men--I was fed up with the whole cycle. It was during that time I met my husband. Right from the beginning, I knew he was different from the rest when he brought me a small gift on our first date. When he came with a package, it didn't even occur to me that it was for me! So---my point here is this---when you take a break from dating, it gives you time to reflect.

Don't give up on counseling. Perhaps you didn't get the right counselor last time. Don't be afraid to shop around. Sometimes it takes just one session to realize it's a bad fit. Also, be prepared to do all the hard work required of you to make positive change.

And, yes, consider moving far enough away so you're not tempted to get in your car and drive to his place. Don't stalk him anymore. Even though he is stringing you along and playing games, he sounds unstable enough to one day decide to turn on you--perhaps in the form of a restraining order. Think about that the next time you're tempted to call. Again, don't rush into dating again and just take time to heal.
 

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