It was another sleepless night last night and as I lay in bed I began to think about the friends that I have and the meaning of friendship. I think that the thoughts were provoked by an email that I had received the other day.
REAL FRIEND TEST! A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself and doesn't feel even the least bit weird shutting your 'beer/Pepsi drawer' with her foot!
A simple friend has never seen you cry. A real friend shoulder is soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names. A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party. A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after they've gone to bed. A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems. A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it!
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument. A real friend calls you after you had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them. A real friend expects to always be there for you!
A simple friend reads this e-mail and deletes it. A real friend passes it on and sends it back to you!
Having had a rough time lately I have found out who are my true friends. These are the people who have continued to text/phone/email me on a regular basis sometimes just to let me know that they are thinking of me if I am in hospital for instance.
I found that when reflecting on people who I have considered true friends are not actually not, I am having to do the contacting and then to get the words "You haven't been in touch for so long" As far as i am aware they have not lost the use of their fingers, they could have picked up the phone but no it is always me. I am not going to say anything to these people because I genuninely like them as people but I am not going to feel guilty about not being in touch with them.
To be a true friend you have to give as well as take. I am sure that I am as guilty as others in sometimese taking more than I give but i do make a conscience effort to let my friends know that I am there for them. I heard a phrase some years ago which I think sums it up - "Friends forever whatever the weather." In this sometimes cruel world it is good to have real friends.