Date:   9/14/2008 11:39:39 AM ( 16 y ago)
Hits:   3,058
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1257426

So sorry to hear that you are going through a hard time right now, each and everyone of us is different, speacial, unique, we all expereince things differently and in my experience we all react to loss differently, no one can really tell you what to do (give advice) because no one is in your shoes, no one is you. People can talk from their own experience but that is their experience, you take it or leave it, you will do what you do, life, learning, love, loss it's all a process. You are obviousness struggling and in pain at the moment it is difficult for most people to sit with that because it hooks into their own feelings of helplessness and suffering, that's why people tend to want to 'fix it' if it was fixable for you....you would have fixed it. People get frustrated when you will not do what they are telling you to do.

I wonder if it would be helpful to find someone who you can just sit down with and talk to face to face, who would be there to just hear you and acknowledge what you are going through right now.

I once had a desperate need and longing for someone in the way that you do, it was a long time ago. I was like a walking wound for so long...every time I had contact with him I would beg him to come back, I felt like I couldn't breath without him. I had to learn to breath without him because I had to sustain my own life, one of the hardest lessons I have ever had to learn, is that I could not make another person do anything, feel anything, say anything well I could try to coheres them but ultimately I could not make them.

It sounds like you love her and even if she loves you she does not want to be with you right now for what ever reason and that must be really painful. It also sound like she does not need you as much right now and that she has other things in her life that are for filling her. It sound like she is the only thing that you have at the moment, so that the loss of her is like the loss of life it's self. When this old boyfriend that I loved so much left I felt like life it's self had gone because I had come to depend on him for my happiness. I could not have know at that time no matter who had tried to tell me that this painful experience would turn out to be the making of me and enhance my life because after this I learned that I would be open to love and to other people but that I would never become so dependent on another person that I would loss myself in this way.

My heart goes out to you and I wish you love, peace and happiness...love life and growth Moonie

 

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