Date:   2/18/2006 9:55:57 PM ( 18 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=124576

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Hi vegangod!

Here are some things for you to consider. I'll warn you ahead of time, I can sometimes come across as blunt and overly direct. But I don't mean to sound harsh or uncaring! ... Infact the only reason I'm writing this post is out of my care for you!

If you don't agree with any of what I have to say, that's perfectly okay ... I'm just putting it out there for you to consider :) You can call me an insensitive freak that "just doesn't understand", if you end up feeling that way. :)

But anyway...

What is there to feel shameful or dirty about? I don't know the details of what happened, but I'm not stupid and I know the kind of things people end up feeling shameful and dirty about! Regardless of what actually happened, I promise you that there's nothing to be ashamed of. How can you feel ashamed over what SOMEONE ELSE chose to do? Especially if it was someone that broke in against your will. Should you feel ashamed of yourself, because of THEIR lack of respect for others? Is it something YOU chose? (Even if it was, there would be no reason to be shameful!) ... if you didn't choose it, if it was against your will, if it was someone that broke in and assaulted you, then obviously it's something that was out of your control. If a tornado comes and destroys your house, should you feel ashamed or guilty for the house having been assaulted? I would sure hope not. The same should be true for your body.

This might sound like a bunch of spiritual mumbo jumbo, but you are NOT your body. Even if you don't see or understand it right now, I promise you that it's true. Whatever happens to your body has NO effect on your primal state of purity. Nothing can tarnish your true nature. The problem is that by being identified with the body you create an image of yourself based on the conditions or events directly involving the body or taking place around it. You perceive an event as filthy and shameful, and as that event happens to the body, you then perceive IT as filthy and shsameful, and by being identified with the body -- by saying "that is me" -- YOU then feel filthy and shameful. But where is the filth and shame? It's not in the body. It's merely a concept in your mind, an idea about yourself and the circumstances.

What happened, happened. There's no good or bad about it. It just is what it is. There isn't anything you can do to change it. There's no need to create negative feelings about it, and ESPECIALLY no need to create negative ideas about YOURSELF, over something you had no control of! But, what you CAN change, is how you decide to let it affect you NOW and from this point forward. What's done is done. It's only a memory now, and memories are no more real than dreams. They're just imagery floating around in the mind.

But many people latch on to these kind of memories and make a whole life of resentment and sorrow out of it. "My life is a mess because I was victimized 10 years ago" ... ! They live their whole life feeling miserable, shameful, guilty, whatever, as if they've been forever ruined, all because of a memory of what happened to the BODY. It may be a fresh memory for you right now, but before you know it a month will have passed, then 6 months, then a year, then 10 years. Will you still be feeling shameful or filthy then? I hope not, but many people still do!

My advice is to just drop it internally. Don't make it a part of your identity! Accept that what happened happened and don't worry about making a big deal about it. It's all just life circumstances. Do you really think it has any affect on WHO YOU ARE? Has it hindered your ability to live your life in any way? Has it altered your ability to know yourself, to learn and grow as a human being?

As for the emotions that are there now ... you don't have to "do" anything or try to deal with them. Just let them be as they are, don't try to force them out, and don't try to suppress them. Don't try to express them or hide them. Just accept them and watch them, just like watching TV! Don't say "I am upset, I am ashamed", say "Upset is there, and I am watching it. Shame is there and I am watching it." .... Let the feelings be, and let them pass. And they WILL pass, as long as you don't make them part of your identity, or do anything to suppress them. If you don't obstruct them or become attached to them, they'll drift on by like clouds in the sky... Of course, some clouds linger longer than others, so don't expect them to just instantly poof away the minute you start watching them ... let them take as long as they need. :)

As far as the fast goes, do what you feel is best. Don't worry about letting anyone here down, don't worry about what any of us will think. You're fasting for yourself, not us, and you need to listen to your body and do what you think is best. If you do decide to break it though, DON'T just jump right in to eating foods especially if you've been going for more than a day now. I'm not an experienced faster but I know that you should never break a fast with normal foods. I think it's best to start off with light fruit juices -- like orange juice -- for the first half of a day, or even a full day, then progress to some heavier juices and then to light, easily digestible foods, like oranges, grapefruit, apples, bananas maybe. Don't screw up your digestive system for a temporary bit of superficial comfort. :)


Anyway, if none of this resonates with you, that's fine :) ... I just wanted to offer my thoughts and observations up for consideration. Whether or not you feel they are helpful in any way is entirely up to you to decide :)

And besides, things will start looking better anyway, even if you completely disagree. Trust me. :)

--James
 

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