Date:   7/22/2008 8:32:21 PM ( 16 y ago)
Hits:   2,612
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1221153

Hi again!

Thanks for the clarifications!

You said some really telling things in your note, such as

"He's got some very strong willpower."
"We fight all the time about food."
"He wants to do it his way."


These are some powerful statements. And it certainly does sound like quite a battle!

In your first note, you mentioned mirrors - while I don't see anything that you don't already see yourself, one thing that does come to mind is how sometimes we give people advice that we ourselves need to take.

For instance, are you eating healthy?

Maybe you demonstrate (show rather than tell) your son what healthy eating looks like and what the benefits of healthy eating are -

For instance, if you are at a restaurant, your son might order the hot dog and french fries, and you can say (to yourself, your husband, a friend), "I'm really in the mood for some veggies." Make healthy choices seem appealing to your son . . . but indirectly.

The key here is that you'll need to let go of this struggle quite a bit. You'll want to aim to diffuse the battle that's begun around eating . . .

By this, I mean, take the loaded emotions out of it. When dinner comes, say, "What are you hungry for?" And if he says "pizza" let him have it. If he wants a donut for breakfast, let him have that too. Show him that it's no longer a battle . . . and shift this stuck dynamic.

This approach may eventually lessen his resistance.

Short of having him go through some blood work at the doctor to make sure he's in good health, I'd allow this to go on for a while longer while you neutralize the eating battle. Trust that your son will come around.


In the meantime, I'd recommend having healthy snacks around the house - ones that seem appealing - cut up colorful fruit salads - like red grapes, halved strawberries, and orange wedges . . . throw that in the fridge or eat some in front of him with a little cream on top. Maybe slice up some watermelon. Make some juice ice pops. Make yourself a colorful crudite for dinner.

Finally, after you've neutralized things for some time, let your son have more independence in his choice of food. Saying things like, "What are you in the mood for?" "What do you think we should eat?" might shift things and give him the control and choice he's looking for.

You might also try letting him shop with you. See if you can get him to pick out what flavor yogurt he likes (they have so many flavors nowadays). Cheese? Give him the choice without making it a battle.

If he still isn't eating well, I recommend consulting his doctor or pediatrician if you haven't already done so. The DR. has seen this situation over and over and it might serve to put your mind at ease and also let in a neutral third party who might say to your son "In order to play this sport or grow this strong, we'd like to see you eating a fruit and a vegetable each day - your choice."

In summary, take yourself out of the battle, demonstrate (show rather than tell) to your son how to eat healthy, have healthy snacks around, get him to a pediatrician who might act as a neutral third party, empower your son to let the choice be his.

I hope that helps! Do feel free to come back with the outcome.

Good luck!

Bella.
 

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