Date:   7/2/2008 9:24:41 PM ( 17 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1206998

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Today was long for me. Two jobs and 12 1/2 hours later, I am tired, but I still have some energy. Don't expect me to jump up and down or anything. LOL

I drank 60 oz of water, mostly when I felt ill and my ketones were high. I was very weak at one point and I took two small sips of cranberry juice to give me just a bit of Sugar in my system. It seemed to help alittle

My day was very very hectic but I made it thought ok. Just a bit of stress at work, never helps a fast.

During my lunch I laid out and got some wonderful healing sun and it was great. I almost fell asleep enjoying it so much. It was very relaxing and invigorating for me. Dr. Shelton always talks about sunbathing when fasting.

I am also planing on using my body brush on my skin tonight as well. To stimulate my skin. That is wonderful too.

When I was working tonight I notice that my legs felt very tight. I then checked my legs when I got home. They seem firmer and when you pinch them, you can't see the fat pockets that come up when you do that. Wow, I can't believe that it is so quick of a change. I just looked yesterday and I still had them, but having them didn't bother me. I am a walker, and runner to I have always had a bit thicker upper thighs anyway. But now they look more tone. It is nice. Some how I got this huge bruise on my upper thigh so I am going to watch it to see how long it takes for it go disappear. If it will be faster then normal when a person is not fasting. It will be interesting to watch the results.

I can feel at least two new blemishes and they are on my back, so here we go. I wonder how many I will have. LOL My last fast in 2007, I had a lot of them. Yuck!

I am having problems praying. I can't find the right words to say to the Lord about all the emotions that I have going around in my heart and head right now. It is always so simple. " Please help me deal with the heartbreak, protect my heart and please, please guide me. Tell me what to do"

Well, Person A call and left me a message and told me that he is just giving up. Of course, I cried, because before I listen to his message, I listen to an older message of him when we first started dating. Why did I do that? I had to save it again in my Cell Phone and I just listening to it. It was when we were both so happy with each and how we are not. Then I listen to the his new message. I just feel numb and cried. I called my mother and told her. She told me as she has told me before. "You love too much and he doesn't love you. If he did, he would drive on a empty tank of gas to see you. Nothing would stop him. You are grieving the future you could have had with him."

I just have to give it all to the Lord. I plan on just laying it before the Lord and letting Him take care of it. It isn't my problem anymore. No matter how hard it will be for me. I will do it. I probably will cry my eyes out as I do, but this is the reason for my fasting journey. To be broken by God, so He could work with me. I know I am stubborn and God can't work with someone that doesn't want to be worked with. I do love God so very much and if I love him, I need to let my Heavenly Father take over and fix things.

I am very depressed right now. Yet in a calm sort of way. My fasting is giving me a clear head to think of things out, no matter I might not like how the consequenance might be. But at least during my fast, I can deal with them better. A fast, the natural anti depressant.

I have had more of an urge to call my father just to see how he is doing. I know my sister already had her baby months ago, but I don't know what. It is just like the others ones. I never knew I was an aunt until 2005. I am hoping that the longer I fast it might help me with the feelings of rejection and abandonment so that I might call my father. I really want to hear his voice and know how he is doing. I am working on it. I am working on it.

I have walked 122% of my goal today. My pedometer got accidently rest at some time. The last time I looked it was 46% so I have walked again 76% which makes 122%. I just don't know many miles that is. The 76% is 3.65 miles.

I hope everyone is doing well on their fasts. You CAN do it. I know you can. Everyone that Many of the posts I have read are doing so great. I am proud that you are doing so well. Keep it up! YOu are winners in this walk to a better life style!
 

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