Date:   6/26/2008 3:35:43 AM ( 17 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1202433

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Hi there I dont know where to begin telling my story but since reading your post things are making alot more sense. I have only had the marina in since 12 February 2008. I wrote a poem , i think you can call it a poem. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bit by bit I loose myself in a world of color Creativity flows through my veins like streams through a river little bits of paint peal of as idea upon idea unfolds my art i can not express save through mumbled words if I could draw I would be lost in my pencil sketches of wonder my life is myne yet my action thus of other people's wishes i go through a life well worth living but withit not my own I seek a slow redemption but not from others but from my hidden self I know not what I speak yet warm tears for tell a different story It is peaceful here but within I scream a silent longing whisper the mountains of my soal are barren the field yeald no crop for the mind wonders Surrounded by people but truely so alone remembering a time when i was a rebel I had my own cause my own way now im just a puppet no mobility without a master will my soul for ever wonder or will I find my own way again for I am but an expressionless artist my pencil is my heart make up is my shield and walls I construct to protect an emty vessel for now I will sit here blankly staring into my vission untill you arive hurry though for bit by bit I fade to blend into colorless color. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- <3 What Im trying to say is I dont feel like myself im irritable , exploding inside, i feel like i want to cry for no apparent reason I get anxiety attacks, i get hectic mood swings,feel depressed, and god forbid i have very little sexual appatite, symptomps i never had and i get myself lost on the way to work , home even when i go visit my parents . Im unhappy for no apparent reason , my body is reacting strangely i have no energy for life or physically and my menstrural cycle is completely off, i all of a sudden get period pain which i have never gotten before and i have what feels like a pricking pain in my womb. I hope I dont sound like a moaning old cow. Im just desperate to find a solution. Please help. I have not had children yet but got the marina because of the massive amount of preasure i was under as my husband did not want children nor did he trust the alternative contraceptives. Im scared that making the decision to have the marina put in , judging by my current "state" Im terrified this will end our relationship... Am i being over eager to find the reasons for my uncharacteristic behaviour should I just stick with the doctor's word (seeing as he says it looks perfectly in place to him)and stick it out hoping these random outbursts would subside or should I rather get "tested"?
 

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